elton john | Cubs Out Loud – The Bear Podcast of Indeterminate Length

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, Damon is on assignment in Detroit, Michigan and will fill us in on his experience in a future episode while Jeff and Gary chat with Edward about what is a chosen family. From our origins to the aunties, cousins, sisters, and brothers we choose, the LGBTQ community has developed its own families. But are they still needed today?

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Chosen Family

Rina Sawayama and Elton John (2021)

Where do I belong?

Tell me your story and I’ll tell you mine

I’m all ears, take your time, we got all night

Show me the rivers crossed, the mountains scaled

Show me who made you walk all the way here

Settle down, put your bags down

(Ooh) You’re alright now

We don’t need to be related to relate

We don’t need to share genes or a surname

You are, you are

My chosen, chosen family

So what if we don’t look the same?

We been going through the same thing

Yeah, you are, you are

My chosen, chosen family

What is a Chosen Family?

“chosen families are nonbiological kinship bonds, whether legally recognized or not, deliberately chosen for the purpose of mutual support and love.
Families We Choose: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship, cultural anthropologist Kath Weston defines chosen family as consisting of “friends, partners and ex-partners, biological and non-biological children, and others who provide kinship support.”
The term originated within the LGBTQ community and was used to describe early queer gatherings like the Harlem Drag Balls of the late nineteenth century.
Movies like Paris is Burning, shows like Pose as well as RENT highlighted the concept of chosen families
Often times a protective factor against forms of discrimination and violence at home and helps create positive and, hopefully, secure, attachments with others.

Chosen Families and COVID

During COVID, many queer youth were being separated from their chosen family during lockdown, which runs the risk of increased violence and stress
2021 Trevor Project Survey
COVID 19 Ruptured Chosen Families

People Need Paid Leave Policies That Cover Chosen Family

Last year, New York City began allowing workers to use paid time off to care for anyone they personally define as family, whether they’re “related by blood or affinity.” In doing so, NYC joined other major metropolises like Chicago, San Francisco, and St. Paul, MN, as well as states like Arizona and Rhode Island, in honoring non-biological kinship.

Chosen Family by Them