Tag Archives: dominant

COL692: LoR: Sexual Scripts

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back as the guys turn the pages on sexual scripts. Follow line by line as Ed and the cubs break down what sexual scripts are, where they come from and what happens when you go “off book.” Editing, improv and flipping the script are not just for the stage anymore!

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Scripts

What are sexual scripts?

In 1986, researchers  William Simon and John H. Gagnon defined sexual scripts as the cultural and societally approved norms that a person accesses, agrees upon, and activates through a sexual socialization process.  These sexual scripts are specific to the culture a person is socialized in, which tell them what behaviors, thoughts, emotions are or are not acceptable.  People carry these scripts with them into sexual situations and they tell them how to respond.  Simon and Gagnon theorized that sexual scripts have three different categories, including socio-cultural, interpersonal, and intrapsychic:

Examples of cultural sexual scripts:

  • Dating culture 
  • Premarital sex 
  • Monogamy 
  • Dominance and submission
  • Heteronormative 
  • What else?

Examples of interpersonal sexual scripts:

  • Flirting/sexual negotiation
  • Consent/sexual assault 
  • Top/Bottom
  • What else?

Examples of intrapsychic sexual scripts:

  • Turn ons
  • Fantasy
  • Kinks and fetishes
  • Pleasure
  • Sexual Desire 
  • What else?

Quote from Simon & Gagnon (1986)

In the most pragmatic sense, sexual scripts must solve two problems. The first of these is gaining permission from the self to engage in desired forms of sexual behavior. The second problem is that of access to the experiences that the desired behavior is expected to generate.

What happens when we go off script or improvising?

  • Rejection
  • Non-monogamy/Poly
  • Ace/Aro
  • Relationship anarchy 
  • Sides 
  • Sexual dysfunctions
  • Mental health/Trauma 
  • What else?

What do we do when we are off-script?

Good rules of improv? 

  • Yes, and….
  • Boundaries 
  • Acknowledge
  • Allow
  • Accommodate
  • Appreciate and….
  • Communicate!  (especially your boundaries)

 

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COL625: LTAK: Gear – Part 4

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Kink. The guys are again joined by Tony aka Cubziz to discuss gear. In this fourth part, the guys discuss headspace and how it can relate to gear. From placing you in the proper role to play to enhancing your personal play, learn more on what headspace is and where it can come from.

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Let’s Talk About Kink: Gear – Part 4

We’re joined one again by kinky boy Tony aka Cubziz for a chat about what is headspace and how ‘gear’ adds we see and experience when it comes to leather/BDSM/kink. Previously we discussed…

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COL458: Turn Ons/Offs

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys get into a really hard subject: what turns them on and what turns them off.. So, if a suited, bearded daddy bear is your turn on or a smelly, unkempt cock is your turn off, you’ll hear about it and so much more. The cubs also include some feedback from the COL Entourage.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: The Serenity of leveling
  • Damon: Black Panther
  • Chester: New job! Gaming party extravaganza. PC Issues.
  • Gary: The countdown is on…

Feedback:

Facebook Likes:

  • Rodriguez Flores Arthur
  • Duke Ruff

Facebook Comment/Post:

  • COL454: NAB OTR – Tunky Seccareccio-Mullins: Thank you guys for mentioning me and my clothes on the last podcast
  • COL457: Bear Positivity – Joshua R. Pangborn: Great topic!
  • Duke Ruff: 😍😍 thanks for all you studs do. Love the show

 

YouTube Subscribers:

  • DPIII1

YouTube Comment:

  • COL457: Bear Positivity – FURinTeeth: Sad if bear men who ARE the community don’t see themselves as sexy.

Twitter Followers:

Tumblr Followers:

Show Topic

Turn Ons & Turns Offs

Cooldown Topics

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

Links:

Patreon Subscriber Thank Yous

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COL427: LTAK: Flogging

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined by the knowledged Ches aka Foxbear for another Let’s Talk About Kink. For this kinky-go-round, the cubs discuss the impact play known as flogging. Listen in as the guys give some tips, tricks and technical tools on floggers and flogging. It’s an impactful conversation.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Computer Downtime
  • Damon: Jocks on, Asses Out!
  • Chester: Settling in, a broken window, Cap City Pup Night
  • Gary: Good and Disappointing Foods

Feedback:

Facebook Comment/Post:

  • Co-hosts Damon, Gary, and recurring guest Ray (aka Karen Forecox) take a quick selfie at the Gem City Bear 2017 contest. Congrats to the winner Benjamin Benton!
    • Benjamin Benton – Thank u!

YouTube Subscribers:

  • André Ferreira
  • Kadin Wilson

YouTube Comment:

  • re: COL425: Dear Gay Men – Randall Stratton – American gods is done for the season and yes the sex scenes were hot.

Tumblr Followers:

Weekly Topic

Let’s Talk About Kink series discussion. Topic is a part of impact play, flogging.

  1. Vocabulary [descriptions not definitions]
    1. Impact Play
      1. Flogging
    2. Sensations: Sounds & Feelings
      1. Thud
      2. Sting
      3. Bite
  2. D/s relationship
  3. Implements Involved
    1. Flogger Types
      1. Different hides yield different results
      2. Different shapes of falls yield different results
      3. Different fall counts yield different results
    2. Not limited to floggers
      1. Paddles
      2. Crops
      3. Wartenberg wheel
      4. Breath
      5. Hands
  4. First Time Expectations

Cooldown Topics

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COL419: This Is The Way We Genetically Role

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs are joined by our SCIENCE expert, Mr. (soon to be Dr.) Cisco, to talk about a recent Jezebel article indicating that you may be  born a bottom? Cisco breaks down the facts and figures and gives the guys the bottom line. Also, Chester is on assignment drinking around the world.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Diabloing
  • Damon: CMC/Being Low Key
  • Gary: The challenge of PRIDE
  • Cisco: “Job” at UTHSC in Memphis, I am a US resident, visiting hometown after 6.5 years, new furry baby, about to finish internship and become a doctor, still no balloon ride.

Feedback:

Facebook Likes:

  • Ben Johnson
  • Xavier Champion

YouTube Subscribers:

  • larstul744

Voicemail

  • Hit Me Baby One More Time!

Weekly Topic

Discussion of a recent study about genetics/biology and our sexual role.

Cooldown Topics

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

Links:

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