Cupcakes | Cubs Out Loud – The Bear Podcast of Indeterminate Length

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke of EAC Therapy and COL’s resident sex therapist. For this episode, the cubs acknowledge their thirst due to many states’ social distancing regulations during the COVID-19 pandemic. Because of this, we bring in the good doc to discuss the sexual needs during this crisis. We all have needs and need to find ways to address them safely.

Show Topic

COVID-19 isn’t going away. And now more than ever we’re facing challenges with having our sexual needs met. What’s a person to do?

This is an extended traumatic experience….which means that people are going to have traumatic reactions to this. Here are some common traumatic reactions and ways to address them sexually:

IMPORTANT: Our reactions to this may be different therefore we may have different sexual libidos during this time (that is normal).

Overview:

Trauma reactions and how to help
- Lack of predictability
  - Keeping and maintaining a schedule
- Immobility
  - Date nights
    - 24 Dates You Can Try at Home – Gottman Institute
  - The 36 Questions That Lead to Love – NewYork Times Article
- Numbing out
  - Sex can be an escape….be aware
  - Increased alcohol and drug use
  - Mindful masturbation
    - The Pleasure Chest – Mindful Maturbation Collection
    - Mindful Masturbation for Better Sex – YouTube Video

- Loss of time and time permanence
  - Schedule time with people
  - Scheduling sex
- Safety
- Loss of Connection
  - Intimacy
    - “Intimacy is knowing who you are and letting someone in on the secret”
  - Getting creative
    - Distance BDSM
    - Distance toys
      - 13 App-Controlled Sex Toys for Couples in Long Distance Relationships
COVID-19 safe sex
- Research
Sex needs are valid needs
- Physical touch and skin hunger “Pickle tubs”
- Five love languages-Britney Spears
  - 5 Love Languages as Britney Spears Lyrics – Elite Daily Article

The 5 Love Languages

- - - Physical Touch: my loneliness is killing me
    - Words of Affirmation: I must confess, I still believe
    - Quality Time: When I’m not with you I lose my mind
    - Gift Giving: Give me a sign
    - Acts of Service: Hit me baby one more time
  - 5 Love Languages Quizzes
Suggestions
- Communication and Love Maps – Gottman Love maps Apple app & Gootman Love Cards Google Play Store
- Masturbation
  - Mindful Masturbation for Better Sex -YouTube Video

- Phone Sex
- Video sex
Looking into the future
- Research is seeing a decrease in STI rates
  - Decrease access to testing sites
- Re-entry
  - Sexual risk taking