Tag Archives: conversation

COL730: LoR: Tolerance vs Acceptance

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke returns and this time we discuss tolerating versus accepting behaviors in our relationships. Do we let the annoying Aunt Ida in?

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Landscape of Relationships: Tolerance vs Acceptance

What is tolerance?

  • Tolerance is the state of “putting up with something without directly opposing it.”  It brings up ideas of enduring or allowing certain behaviors.  But it doesn’t mean embracing or supporting these behaviors or actions.
  • It’s a head thing

What is acceptance?

  • Acceptance is the state of opening yourself up completely to a situation, not how your mind sees it.  Acknowledging the reality of a situation without the need to change it or resist it.  Being open to differences and embracing them through love and compassion.
  • It’s a heart thing

Tolerance 

  • It involves the suppression of difficult emotions.  Can lead to feelings of resentment and anger due to lack of acceptance or understanding.

Acceptance 

  • This process can lead to feelings of love, compassion, and empathy.  The more that we feel connected to someone the deeper our understanding is.  

ACT with Love by Russ Harris [purchase on Amazon]

DRAIN

  • Disconnect
  • Reactivity
  • Avoidance
  • Inside your mind
  • Neglecting Values

LOVE

  • Letting go
  • Opening up
  • Values 
  • Engage 

“Annoying Aunt Ida”

  • Acknowledge 
  • Allow
  • Accommodate
  • Appreciate
Play

COL654: LTAS: Awakening

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Sex. For this episode, the cubs go way back and discuss their sexual awakenings. Whether it was their first time or their best time, the guys reminisce on that joyous time they discovered themselves as sexual beings. From the birds to the bees, listen in as they share their moments when they figured out what’s going on down there.

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Lets Talk About Sex: Awakening

The hosts discuss when they discovered personal sexual awakenings many years ago. 

Urban Dictionary lists Sexual Awakening as: The first time in a person’s life in which they experience a euphoric feeling and desire to be physically intimate with someone.

Sexual Awakening can be defined as when you finally become one with your original essence, your primal energy, and you know your sexual organs.

 

Play

COL580: LTAS: Sides

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, Let’s Talk About Sex!  The guys are joined by resident Sex Therapist Edward Angelini-Cooke to discuss “sides”. You know of tops, bottoms, and versatiles; but do you know about sides? Listen in as the cubs define this role in the MSM community and what it means in the sexual spectrum.

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Sides 

  • Definition?

Joe Kort developed the term in 2013 after not engaging in anal intercourse and feeling frustrated answering the “top or bottom” question.  “Can I be a side?”

A side is typically a man who has sex with another man (MSM) who does not engage in anal intercourse or penetration as it is not part of their erotic orientation.  Erotic orientation reflects your sexual fantasies, desires, and sexual behaviors.  

Self-labels (labels used to describe anal sex behaviors….or does it):

  • Top 
  • Bottom 
  • Versatile 
    • What if you don’t fit into any of those groups?  shame…guilt….FOMO…et al. 
  • Sides 

Articles:

Videos: Barry Birkholz

Book: Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment 

Podcast: Smart Sex, Smart Love: Episode 50 Side Guys

  • Awareness?
    • Side Guys Facebook Group  (currently 323 members)
    • Many different presentations of sides 
    • Sex is not just penetration 
    • Navigating conversations about being a “side” 
    • Inclusive language verse exclusive language 
  • Acceptance?

Backlash from gay community…

  • Interest?
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COL472: Giving/Taking … Compliments

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs want to tell you that you are awesome! The guys talk about being complimentary: both giving and taking … compliments. Is this still an acceptable practice and what does it entail? Are you being flirtatious or just respectful? The cubs give all the praise and admiration on this appreciative topic.

Play

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Vue-ing Pokèmon
  • Damon: Disconnect/Reconnect
  • Gary: Vacation and Reboot

Feedback:

Facebook Likes:

  • Rex Apps
  • Arturo Carretero Feliciano

Facebook Comment/Post:

  • Re: COL471: Where is the body?
    • Joshua R. Pangborn: Oh I wish I could have joined you guys for this one! Obviously a topic near and dear to me 🙂
    • Arturo Carretero Feliciano: Great episode, I think being a bear is more like how you feel , and looks comes second.

YouTube Subscribers:

  • YOUNIS Aliyaway

YouTube Comment:

  • Re: COL471: Where is the body? – Barbara Thomas: Good show.

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Compliments…

  • How do we give and take them?
  • Have they gone by the wayside?
  • Are all compliments acceptable?
  • Can they be given as part of flirting?

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

Links:

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COL451: BEAR: Skin or No Skin

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another Bear Experience Action Readiness or BEAR show. This time around, the cubs channel their inner Joan Rivers and discuss “What are you wearing?”. Just in time for NAB, the guys talk about what to and what not to wear at your next bear run, leather event, or pool party.

Play

Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Thirsty
  • Damon: Conversation
  • Chester: Drag Race Premiere, Zelda, TSA Redux
  • Gary: Being Distracted and Male Hot Flash

Feedback:

Facebook Likes:

  • Aditya Iyer

Facebook Comment/Post:

  • Re: COL448: Shutdowns IRL vs Online – Sean Mulligan: Why was I not a special guest lol

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Pericles Oliveira
  • Javier Estrellaa
  • Studoutlaw
  • Rikays NightFalls

Blog Comment:

  • Comment on “COL450: Gay Genetics” by Chris Greene “Dr. Cisco really nailed it. Great breakdown of the meaning of studies, how to draw conclusions, and method of explaining some complex genetic concepts to non-scientists. Thanks for having him on!”

Twitter Followers:

Tumblr Followers:

Tumblr Comment:

COL Pedestal:

  • Craig

Show Topic

BEAR Series: Skin or No Skin – what clothes do we take, or not

Cooldown Topics

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

Links:

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