Tag Archives: consent

COL723: Jingle Mingle 3

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s a holiday fun time with our 3rd annual Jingle Mingle 3: Revenge of the Bells! This time around, the guys get a little naughty for Christmas with some fun games. Laughs, stories and more ensue as Gary leads the sleigh. Join the cubs, Drew, Joshua, Lloyd and Cubziz as they determine who is the naughtiest of them all!

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Jingle Mingle 3

The COL hosts are gathering online again for a year end social. It’s holiday themed games as we find out who’s the naughtiest!

  • Good Elf or Bad Elf
  • Holiday Most Likely 2023
  • The Naughtiest of All Volume 2
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COL716: LTAK: Hanky Code Quiz Time

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s another installment of Let’s Talk About Kink. The guys are again joined by Tony aka Cubziz as he quizzes them on the hanky code. From red to green and all the colors (and fabrics) in between, listen in as the cubs test their knowledge on the rainbow that is the code that guided cruising in the early days.

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Let’s Talk About Kink: Hanky Code Quiz Time

Once upon a time, kink folk used a rather colorful signal system to let others know what they were seeking and enjoyed. As time passed and culture changed, the hanky code has diminished in popularity. And since we’re cubs of a certain age, why not test our memories and see if we can recall what the various colors/patterns are when our quiz game host Cubziz put us to the test. 

Hanky Code Introduction – Article info from OnyxNortheast.Org

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COL714: Daddy is BACK!

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs welcome back their good pal & frequent LTAS guest host, Daddy Hadrian! After a 4-year hiatus, the professional pervert is back to catch us up on his life, his new career, and his opinions. From moving to Palm Springs to doing porn full time, listen in as Daddy Hadrian fills us in on the good, the bad, and the in-between (and who wouldn’t want to be filled by Daddy Hadrian?).

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Daddy is BACK!

Hadrian returns to visit the cubs and get out loud as we discuss what’s happened since their last time together back in COL524: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part Three on 9/8/19. [First ep was COL233: Depends On The Sausage You Eat, recorded 10/20/2013]

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COL707: LTAS: Fave Porn Tropes

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the cubs dust off their old BearFilms and Maximum Density tapes to discuss their favorite porn tropes. From the pizza boy to the naughty Santa, the cubs examine these classic and familiar fantasy cliches that keep us coming…err coming back for more. And, to add an additional twist, let’s put them all on a card and find out who shouts BINGO at the climax.

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LTAS: Fave Porn Tropes

Let’s Talk About Sex returns with another installment. This time the hosts discuss how over 30+ years certain ‘tropes’ still live on in their fantasies and memories. Blow the dust off your VCR cartridges and fire up the way back machine, ’cause something just cum again and again and again. Will you? Plus there’s a little bingo game waiting to be played!

Trope: from today’s pop culture viewpoint, this is a recurring element or a frequently used plot device in a work of literature or art; considered common and known by many.Downloadable Card

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COL692: LoR: Sexual Scripts

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke is back as the guys turn the pages on sexual scripts. Follow line by line as Ed and the cubs break down what sexual scripts are, where they come from and what happens when you go “off book.” Editing, improv and flipping the script are not just for the stage anymore!

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Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Scripts

What are sexual scripts?

In 1986, researchers  William Simon and John H. Gagnon defined sexual scripts as the cultural and societally approved norms that a person accesses, agrees upon, and activates through a sexual socialization process.  These sexual scripts are specific to the culture a person is socialized in, which tell them what behaviors, thoughts, emotions are or are not acceptable.  People carry these scripts with them into sexual situations and they tell them how to respond.  Simon and Gagnon theorized that sexual scripts have three different categories, including socio-cultural, interpersonal, and intrapsychic:

Examples of cultural sexual scripts:

  • Dating culture 
  • Premarital sex 
  • Monogamy 
  • Dominance and submission
  • Heteronormative 
  • What else?

Examples of interpersonal sexual scripts:

  • Flirting/sexual negotiation
  • Consent/sexual assault 
  • Top/Bottom
  • What else?

Examples of intrapsychic sexual scripts:

  • Turn ons
  • Fantasy
  • Kinks and fetishes
  • Pleasure
  • Sexual Desire 
  • What else?

Quote from Simon & Gagnon (1986)

In the most pragmatic sense, sexual scripts must solve two problems. The first of these is gaining permission from the self to engage in desired forms of sexual behavior. The second problem is that of access to the experiences that the desired behavior is expected to generate.

What happens when we go off script or improvising?

  • Rejection
  • Non-monogamy/Poly
  • Ace/Aro
  • Relationship anarchy 
  • Sides 
  • Sexual dysfunctions
  • Mental health/Trauma 
  • What else?

What do we do when we are off-script?

Good rules of improv? 

  • Yes, and….
  • Boundaries 
  • Acknowledge
  • Allow
  • Accommodate
  • Appreciate and….
  • Communicate!  (especially your boundaries)

 

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