In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys hop in their DeLorean and discuss the future of bears. The cubs gather together to talk about what another 30 to 40 years down the road might look like for the broader bear community. From disappearing bear runs to growing inclusivity, listen in as the guys ponder the next steps of the community.
Show Topic
Bears in the Future
The cubs gather together to talk about what another 30 to 40 years down the road might look like for the broader bear community. Will runs still exist? Are more animals coming into the menagerie? What about the ‘aging’ of the cubs in the year to come?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke for an in depth discussion on relationships. For this second part, the guys delve into boundaries and rules. With Edward’s help, the cubs discuss the similarities and differences between these two terms, how they relate to each person and those involved in the relationship, and also discord on the potential minefield of expectations. How do we set our boundaries? Are expectations a good or a bad thing? What’s on your relationship checklist? The guys hash out these questions and more.
Show Topic
The Landscape of Relationships – Boundaries and Rules
Boundaries (“I Will/I Won’t”) v. Rules/Agreements/Expectations (“You/We Won’t”)
debated topic within relationship communities
Is this a rule or a boundary?
Boundary as skin metaphor (protects us from bacteria, allows the good stuff in and sweats the bad stuff out, elastic with limitations [you can break skin], boundaries are about me
Rules are about us and you, jealousy, usually some form of control
Pros and Cons of Rules
Pros:
Contracts
Establishing or Re-establishing solid foundation of connection and intimacy
Conditional…not unilateral or controlling
Spoken
Cons:
Can be Controlling
Can be rigid and unhealthy
Can be Set up to be broken
Unspoken
Agreements are similar to the idea of a relationship contract or vows
Expectations are resentments waiting to happen
Kinds of Personal Boundaries
Emotional
Example: Don’t go to the hardware store for bread
Physical
Examples: allergies, personal bubble, DON’T COME INTO MY ROOM, MOM!!!!
Time
Examples: don’t make plans within 24 hours, I have office hours on Tuesdays
Sexual
Examples: Consent, Refer to checklist
Intellectual
Examples: Agree to disagree, awareness of who and what you are talking about
Material
Examples: Don’t lend out money, I need that sling back by Friday etc
In this episode Cubs Out Loud, Jeff and Gary are joined by recurring guest hosts Hadrian, Gabe and Matt to discuss what we like, love, and wear under our clothes. And yes, some of us freeball it too! Listen in as we talk about the various types, styles, and challenges faced when it comes to covering up down there.
Tom McMillen-Oakley The best kind of undies are the ones tossed on the floor next to your bed.
Calvin Hartman-Stevens I wear boxers and as far as what I like to see other guys in, I like to see them in boxer briefs, briefs, bikinis or jocks. Something form fitting. Woof
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys hop in their DeLorean and discuss the future of bears. The cubs gather together to talk about what another 30 to 40 years down the road might look like for the broader bear community. From disappearing bear runs to growing inclusivity, listen in as the guys ponder the next steps of the community.
