In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… For this episode, the guys talk about love–exciting and new. From feeling romantic vibes to just feeling randy, find out how the cubs feel about finding love, being in love, and what love means to them.
Show Topic
LTA… The Love Bug
When it comes to the romantic side of our hosts, what do they feel describes them as being in love? Are there specific feelings, actions, behaviors that we universally feel show love for others? Have we ever been ‘bitten by the love bug’? Did we get over the itch?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss QPRs or Queer Platonic Relationships. QPRs are intimate relationships that are neither romantic nor sexual in nature. Listen in as Ed builds up the fundamentals of this different relationship dynamic and its origins and brings it up to date for modern audiences.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Queer Platonic Relationships
Landscape of Relationships returns. Queer platonic relationships are our focus this month when it comes to relationships. QPRs are committed intimate relationships which are neither romantic nor sexual in nature and that differ from close friendship by having the same structure and status as a romantic relationship. The concept originates in aromantic and asexual spaces in the LGBT community. The term has begun to also be used in polyamorous communities to help describe the complex relationships. The term “queers” social norms for defining relationships, it isn’t a friendship nor is it a romantic relationship.
Asexual (Ace)
“Sexual orientation where a person experiences little to no sexual attraction to anyone and/or does not experience desire for sexual contact” (aceandaros.com, 2021)
Aromantic (Aro)
“Romantic orientation, which describes people whose experience of romance is disconnected from normative societal expectations, commonly due to experiencing little to no romantic attraction, but also due to feeling repulsed by romance, or being uninterested in romantic relationships.” (AUREA FAQ on Aromanticism.org, 2021).
Allosexual
“Describes people who are not on the asexual spectrum. They can have any romantic orientation, including aromantic” (TAAAP.org, 2021).
Alloromantic
“Described people who are not on the aromantic spectrum. They have any sexual orientation, including asexual” (TAAAP.org, 2001).
Historically speaking , QPR has been described as an “ancient practice made new again”.
Boston Marriages – A Boston marriage was one in which two independent women chose to build a life and a household together, rather than marrying.
Romantic Friendships – Close but often times non-sexual relationship. Used primarily in historical contexts (e.g. Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens; Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed).
Zucchini
Term of endearment used to describe a queerplatonic partner.
Also, “squish” has been used to describe a non-romantic crush.
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon finally get a full-on view of the “game within a game” that has been hinted at all season long. During this lip-sync smackdown spectacular, the guys flap their gums as the eliminated queens face off in one song after the other after the other. Which queen lip-smacks their way to the top and back into the competition?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. In this installment, the cubs share their thoughts on FWBs, otherwise known as friends with benefits. What are the building blocks of this type of relationship and how do you make it work? And, what exactly are the benefits?
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Friends With Benefits
Is a friendship a relationship????
Thoughts?
Many cultures define friendships as a very important relationship
LGBTQ community- “chosen family”
Atlantic 2020 article that discussed the cultural and historical importances of friendships
A set of societal expectations for intimate relationships. Partners follow a set of progressive set of steps, each with clear markers, with a goal in mind.
In 2017, 171 University of Denver students (more women than men) were surveyed on sexual satisfaction, commitment and trust of FWB relationships
Big takeaways? *drumroll please* communication and setting healthy boundaries
They found sexual satisfaction was important but so was sacrificing for the good of the partner, and not looking for the next best thing.
Why? Lots of research is looking at young adults who are in school. Romantic relationships are oftentimes an added stressor that takes away from studying. Some students opt for FWB arrangements to reduce overall stress.
FWBs are supposed to decrease pressure, not add pressure.
You need to be friends in order to call it a FWB. Those take time, trust, shared history, etc.
Must be mutually beneficial and convenient
If the FWB ends, you are allowed to be upset.
“It’s confusing to try to develop friendship founded on a sexual relationship guided by a rule system that has to be invented as you go. Or, when you’re trying to force a friendship so that you can add sex as a benefit, where does the friendship part fit in? That’s putting the benefits before the friendship.”
“Sexual exploration can and often does become a part of an existing friendship between consenting people. Or you may have been in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with this person earlier in your life, but now it’s morphed into a friendship. In such circumstances, the sexual connection may remain, or may be reintroduced. But the common thread is the history between you, the investment you share in the friendship, and the trust that has formed. You recognize that you both enjoy the chemistry, but that you may not be as compatible emotionally as you are sexually. It’s a mutually understood experience. The connection you have as friends determines whether this time in your life and in your relationship is right to be sharing benefits.”
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon turn on the sirens as the queens improv their way through a cop comedy challenge. As the queen pair off and hog the stage, our pair critique their reading and face-kini runway glamour! Which queen gets a Get Out of Jail free card and which one ends up behind bars?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Let’s Talk About… For this episode, the guys talk about love–exciting and new. From feeling romantic vibes to just feeling randy, find out how the cubs feel about finding love, being in love, and what love means to them.
