In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon are back in black as the queens go goth! From dark humor to dark ladies, listen in as the guys dig into the gurls’ Snatch Game and Neo-Goth looks.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the potential red, yellow and green flags in relationship and kink dynamics. While a potentially funny meme, these flags are no laughing matter. Listen in as the cubs unfurl some details and give some insight into looking out for the signals of a healthy (and unhealthy) relationship.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Red Flags, Green Flags
What are Relationship Flags?
Relationship flags are indicators of healthy, unhealthy, and dangerous behaviors or feelings within relationships.
They can be red, yellow, or green.
Red Flags
Controlling behaviors
Violence
Emotional and verbal abuse
Intentional sabotage or hurting of feelings
Walking on eggshells
Friends and family (support) are not trusting of your partner
Using things against you that were told in confidence
Usually can improve for short periods of time but abuse is usually cyclical
Yellow Flags
All or nothing communication
Pushes boundaries
Codependency or enmeshment
Difficulty with finding things in common
Lack of similarities with goals and values
These can be improved upon in meaningful ways
Green Flags
Healthy communication
Respecting boundaries
Interdependence
Supportive of goals and values
Knowing love languages
Awareness that no relationship is perfect
Let’s Get Kinky
Red Flags in Kink
Expect you to immediately obey them and call them an honorific or title before agreed upon/Call you a title one honorific immediately before agreed upon
Don’t ask you about your hard or soft limits
Tell you what “real” or “true” submissive or a dominant does
Separate you from friends and family or kinky friends
Tell you that they have no limits and expect you to have no limits as well
Expect you, as the Dominant, to take full responsibility for their health and wellbeing, both physically and emotionally
Dismiss opinions
Dictate how your dynamic will go
Green Flags in Kink
Want to get to know you on a deeper level, and have an interest in more than just your kinks and sexual preferences
They won’t do anything without your expressed consent, and will respect your stated boundaries and limits, as well as sharing their own
They’re interested in hearing about your journey in kink, as well as what turns you on and off, along with your opinions on how you’d like your dynamic to grow
They respect your existing friendships and relationships, even if they may not be directly introduced to the other important people in your life
They emphasize the importance of safety, consent, negotiation, and safe words in kinky dynamics
They take responsibility for their actions, understanding that you are not the cure for their problems
If you feel you are in a dangerous relationship situation. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, the guys discuss the often dreaded in-laws. As media seems to make it seem that most straight couples have to deal with their in-laws and spouse’s families, the cubs review how this translates into the relationships of the LGBTQ+ community. Are they really that different or can similar tactics, communication and boundaries help ease the potential tension?
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: In-Laws
Lots of research and media about how in-law relationships are really difficult. That may be the case as some research out there says 3 out of 4 couples have difficult relationships with heterosexual in-laws. Is that the case with same-sex relationships?
Every family is different with a different rulebook that has been in creation for possibly generations.
Possibility for conflictual interactions, difficult pasts, and crunchy presents.
BOUNDARIES!!!!!
Know your values
Stay true to you.
Brene Brown’s BRAVING…specifically the Generosity part.
Keep those conflict skills in check.
LGBT in-laws (2019) 400 interviews from children in law who identified as gay or lesbian. Describe relationship with same sex in law parent.
Many of those interviewed struggled with acceptance by one or both of their parents-in-law.
Relationships usually improved with time
While parents-in-law became increasingly accepting, there was often someone else in the family who was not accepting
Acceptance by the mothers-in-law, according to the daughters-in-law, came as more of their friends and social circle either had children who were lesbian or gay, or their friends and social circle became more socially aware.
Feelings of ambivalence toward family members are typical.
Be the subject of your life, not the object.
You become an adult child the moment you set boundaries with your family (and in-laws).
What do YOU want to do with your partner in relation to each other’s families?
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon return to review the 5th and 6th episodes of RPDR! First, the guys review the dramatic acting chops of the queens as they get MEDICAL. Find out which queens are on life support. Next, a classic game returns a little early as SNATCH GAME puts the remaining 10 queens in a celebrity mood. With the most familiar challenge to the Ru Gurls, which queen impersonates their way to the top? Producer note: Gary and Damon experienced technical issues which affected the show and unfortunately ended the recording early. Even so, it’s a jam-packed episode.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On episode for the month of July. The cubs are all busy with their work, but what else did July have in store? From the same old to some new adventures, catch up with the guys after a steamy midsummer. Also, more porn talk, binge watching series, and just how much weight a massage table can hold.
What’s Going On?
Jeff: Same Ole, Same Ole
Damon: Busy Work/Look Around CMC
Gary: The Ride Continues
Facebook Likes:
Chris Evans-Behr
Instagram Followers:
Ohheyimmatt
1luan40
Instagram Comments:
Re: COL516: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part 1: hauntcub commented: I wonder what a daddy cub could contribute? 😎😁
YouTube Subscribers:
Lovel Trahan
YouTube Comment:
Re: COL516: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part One:
EscapePod42: “I know it’s your not your guys fault but a lot of us aren’t getting notifications and stuff”
AL-Teronn Robinson: “What bugs me about porn was the lack of diversity in bear porn even now it’s still very little diversity.”
Voicemail
Hey guys, this is Q. I am calling because in reference to your last podcast the fantasies episode and specifically with Gary asking about massage tables and the weights or at least the like what is the weight limit of typical professional massage table? So. Four hundred pounds is typically the least amount of weight that a professional massage table can hold the table of I have has a working weight of six hundred and fifty pounds and I’m actually in about a month or so going to purchase the table that has a working wait fifteen hundred pounds because I do a lot of work on the table where I’m actually on top of my client myself. So I weigh 250, you know, they weigh 300 that’s 550 pounds and some doing a lot of work on the table. I need to make sure that it’s not going to squeak or do any of those, you know, making those weird or break or any of those things. So 1500 pounds is probably the maximum amount. I’ve heard of a table having a professional portable table. But yeah, so there you go. There’s your information. Thanks guys. Love the podcast..
Twitter Followers:
@NigelFarmer11
@CdzinhaG
@BearMcs
@davidwilburn
@Jeepcub67
@SamKenaan
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Recent Shows
COL515: What’s Going On – June 2019
COL516: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part One
COL517: What is. . . Self Hate?
COL518: Favorite Fantasies
Email:
Thanks for the episode! Sorry I’ve been busy lately and just got to the episode this morning! I hadn’t even realized you’d posted a whole episode reply or I would’ve carved out the time to listen to it already.
First off I would say sorry, I knew when I sent it one of the episodes I was referencing was quite old, and you may have grown in opinions since it was recorded, but since I was taking time to send the email I wanted to hit on all my thoughts, just in case.
I’ve attached a good picture of someone who has received bottom surgery. It’s not me, I have all my original parts, haven’t had surgery. If you’re wanting other pictures for reference I’d honestly recommend watching porn with trans guys (though often if they’ve had bottom surgery it’s kinda like playing Where’s Waldo since it can be difficult to really tell) rather than googling, because on Google you can get some somewhat gruesome pictures taken mid-surgery. And to educate some more on what I meant by you can’t really tell until they cum, basically just that, during sex you would treat it just like a cis man’s penis, only when they orgasm there wouldn’t be liquid cum, just the other tells like moans and body shakes.
I have a lot more thoughts on the episode I’d like to share, but if being on an episode is something that I actually feel up to being able to do I think it’s been more interesting in that format.
I’ve also attached a couple pictures of me (which if you bring up this email you can talk about, but please don’t post anywhere) do you know who you’re talking to.
Thanks,
P.S. sorry for all the typos in this and my original message, I typed them out on my phone and my autocorrect mangled them a little bit.
P.S.S. Hello, I’ve talked it over with some friends and decided I think it’d be good to come on, if the invitation is still open, and you’re still wanting a chat with a trans bear.
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon are back in black as the queens go goth! From dark humor to dark ladies, listen in as the guys dig into the gurls’ Snatch Game and Neo-Goth looks.
