Tag Archives: behavior

COL422: LTAS: Playspace Etiquette

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud,  it’s another Let’s Talk About Sex! For this topic, we start the discussion about playspace etiquette. Listen in as we give the dos and don’ts about your favorite back bar space, dark room, bathhouse, frolic and mingle rooms. So, should you enter a playroom chatting on your cellphone while eating a plate of nachos?

Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Back in Action/W Bear
  • Damon: Glamping Trip
  • Chester: Apt Approved, packing, and Evan’s first drive-in
  • Gary: July is here!

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Facebook Comment:

  • Ches Clark SHOW NOTE [re: COL421]: I realized after the fact that I didn’t get in the whole story about my birthday dinner. (I think I cut myself off because I felt like I was monopolizing and rambling on.) That being said, I wanted to make a small addendum, especially given that I was giving someone who wasn’t present to defend himself a bit of a hard time. Brady *did* sincerely apologize for initiating the song and spectacle debacle as part of owning up to it, and had no idea beforehand that I was so vehemently opposed to that sort of public display. He truly did feel terrible about it afterward, but I was just in no mood to hear it at the time. He was just trying to be playful and funny, and so for those who might be worried about him getting “two black marks in my little book,” have no fear–most of that accounting business is tongue-in-cheek. Brady and I are very much okay with each other. Cheers!
  • Re: COL421: Greg Ballard I would love to do a co host spot someday. Love this channel! Watching right now!

 

YouTube Subscribers:

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BearUnderground Joined Entourage:

  • Yloric73

 

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Tumblr Comment:

  • Rotundaplomb mentioned us in a comment and asked
    • I’m looking for some movie recommendations! I’m after a movie featuring the bear/chub community. Romantic, drama, comedy – all work. Not looking for a porn flick but sex scenes are fine. I’ve heard BearCity might be a good place to start. What are some others? Maybe some ideas on the next @cubsoutloud? Thanks Tumblr folks!
  • Rotundaplomb in re: to COL420: State of the Community 2017
    • Wish I could have stayed for more of the live stream. You miss so many of Gary’s faces on the podcast version. Great list of some Pride documentaries to watch – check the show notes.
  • FirstRonin in re: to COLSP06: Daddy’s Day Storytime 2017 directed to Hadrian…
    • I just want to say that you have an amazing voice! No matter what you’re reading or saying, you make me melt a little.
  • NE-Plus-Ultra-Bears in re: to COLSP06: Daddy’s Day Storytime 2017
    • Now that’s what I call a late Sunday night delight!!

Weekly Topic

Article from Bear World Magazine website interview re: the W Bear app

Let’s Talk About Sex: Playspace Etiquette

  • You may/will be seen/watched – not possible to be invisible
  • Always be respectful
  • Consent needs to be given, whether subtle or pronounced
  • You know what is best for yourself, not anyone else
  • Keep safety in mind, yours and everyone else’s
  • Be courteous to others in the space
  • Prepare yourself; mentally and physically

Cooldown Topics

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COL419: This Is The Way We Genetically Role

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs are joined by our SCIENCE expert, Mr. (soon to be Dr.) Cisco, to talk about a recent Jezebel article indicating that you may be  born a bottom? Cisco breaks down the facts and figures and gives the guys the bottom line. Also, Chester is on assignment drinking around the world.

Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Diabloing
  • Damon: CMC/Being Low Key
  • Gary: The challenge of PRIDE
  • Cisco: “Job” at UTHSC in Memphis, I am a US resident, visiting hometown after 6.5 years, new furry baby, about to finish internship and become a doctor, still no balloon ride.

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Voicemail

  • Hit Me Baby One More Time!

Weekly Topic

Discussion of a recent study about genetics/biology and our sexual role.

Cooldown Topics

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COLDRAS: S2E07: Family That Drags Together

coldras-s2e7In this week’s episode of COL Drag Race T-Time, Gary, Damon and Chester breakdown this emotionally sickening show. As family come to the workroom, the drama kicks it into high gear just in time for the finale. Sistuhs these gurls are not, as it’s every queen for herself! Who becomes the rotten fruit on this family tree?

Weekly Topic

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 2 Episode 7

  • Maxi Challenge: Drag Family Vogueing
  • Runway/Main Stage: Drag Royal Family

First Impressions:

  • [Gary]: Makeovers….again
  • [Damon]: There’s a definite vibe…
  • [Chester]: Alyssa looks concerned

Thoughts on This Episode:

  • [Gary]: It’s the Emotional Challenge
  • [Damon]: Rising to the Challenge
  • [Chester]: Alaska wins! Power to the people?

Cooldown Topics

Takeaways:

  • [Gary]: Stars Burn Out
  • [Damon]: Real family can matter
  • [Chester]: Katya should be VERY concerned

Snaps / Eyerolls:

  • [Gary]: Snaps for… Detox’s Vogue
  • [Gary]: Eyerolls for… Alaska.
  • [Damon]: Snaps for…Katya’s Mother
  • [Damon]: Eyerolls for…Alaska’s trainwreck
  • [Chester]: Snaps for… The Moms!
  • [Chester]: Eyerolls for… Fuck RoLaskaTox?

Closing Thoughts:

  • [Gary]: Krazy vs Rolaskatox
  • [Damon]: Who Do You Think Will Win?
  • [Chester]: Team Katya

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COL288: Let’s Talk About Kink – Protocols

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we welcome back Ches and Matt to discuss the topic of protocols in a BDSM power exchange. From examples in their relationship, the cubs get to learn more about what protocols actually are and the benefits they serve the dom/sub relationship

What’s Going On?

  • [Jeff] – Molten Corgi
  • [Damon] – Housebuying…meh
  • [Gary] – FOOD, FRIENDSHIP, and SNOW
  • [Ches] – Went to Makers Mark distillery with the huzbear yesterday; judged Mr. Crossings Leather last night – whip gone missing; getting excited for Midwest Bearfest
  • [Matt] – Too good for AT&T

Feedback:

COL WEBSITE: About Us

From Anthony:

I am in love with this podcast! You guys are super funny and give really good advice. As someone who is young and came out fairly recently you guys have really helped me be informed I never knew I should know about as a gay man. You’re like the gay dads I wish I had. I love you guys a lot, keep doing what you’re doing and I look forward to whats next. ;3

P.S. You guys should do more stuff with Gabe, Matt, and Hadrian. And more on the road stuff with Gary. Please and thank you!

[Cubs Out Loud] Comment: “COL282: Let’s Talk About Kink – Dom/sub, you don’t say!”

From Reggie S.

Great job!  I’m really a bit sad I listened to this in the car on my way to work this morning as there were so many things I wanted to write down and say here in the comments.  I still have about 20 minutes more to listen to but I figure why not get it all down while it’s still got that hot french fry feeling!  First of all, thank you for doing this show, you’re providing a great service.  Secondly, thanks for having fantastically educated guests who don’t pull punches but delivered digestible doses of truth and education on a topic I am still coming to understand myself.  I’m still new to my life as a sub; being a black man in the United States who has race play as one of his kinks has taken some getting use to. That being said, your guests made one point that resonated deeply with me and I wanted to thank them and the show for it… Function over Form.  There have been many situations in my life as a gay man where I have felt very “on the outside”. Sir has proven to me that, despite any outside disqualifications I may have to any given group, I do have things to offer. I wouldn’t be so bold as to speak for Sir but he has never denied me. I am his boy. Regardless of whatever preconceived notions I still have of my outside appearance or the validity of this relationship to others, he has never failed to make me feel like his and that has in many ways allowed me to feel what it is like “on the inside”.  Thanks again and keep up the great work.  😀

Weekly Topic

Protocol

  • What is Protocol? [Definition, types, examples]
    • Rules, rituals, formalized behaviors
      • hard and fast rules
      • situational suspension of protocol
      • growth, progress and process
    • Immediate service-based protocol
    • Distance protocols
    • Examples
      • Speech/communication/signals
        • use of titles, names, modes of speech
          • interruptions
        • check-ins, reports, being “on call”
        • hand signals, gestures
        • reflection protocol – diary, blog, vlog, etc.
      • Clothing
        • by setting
        • prohibited/required items
      • Body position
        • presentation
        • movement in groups
      • Direct service
        • Sexual service
          • Chastity, orgasm control/denial
        • Situational behavior – social, public, private
      • Prohibited behaviors
      • Assigned tasks/programs of behavior
    • Creating/Implementing protocols in a power-exchange dynamic
      • purpose (narrow vs. broad)
        • personal development
        • communication purposes
        • expression of power imbalance
      • effectiveness (review, feedback)
        • periodic, contingency
      • changes to protocol
        • protocol stagnation, when protocol becomes habitual
      • pacing: too much, too little, too fast, too slow
  • What is it good for? (ie. What does everybody get out of it?)
    • What subs take away from protocols…
    • What Doms take away from protocols…
    • What outsiders take away from seeing the protocols of others…
  • What happens when protocol breaks down?
    • Keep it, fix it or scrap it?
    • Remember to focus on purpose and effectiveness at achieving that purpose

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