Tag Archives: bed

COL688: LoR: Sexual Desire

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.

Show Topic

Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire

First, sexual desire is complicated. 

  • Is it an emotion? Yes
  • Is it a motivation? Yes
  • Is it a state of being? Yes
  • Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily

Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity.  This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies.   Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.

One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger.  And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.  

Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet).  So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.  

What impacts sexual desire?

  • Biology/Evolution
    • Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks.  Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics.  If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.  
  • Medical
    • Low testosterone, heart disease, Cancer, physical pain, psychotropic medications
  • Relational
    • Relationship conflict, and sexual scripts 
  • Intergenerational
    • Abuse and religiosity and culture 
  • Psychological
    • Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
  • Social
    • Cultural sexual narratives and scripts 

“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch 

  • In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof.  Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea?  If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.

Resources:

 

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COL527: What’s Going On – August/September 2019

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On episode for the months of August and September. It’s been a while, so we’re checking in on the cubs to see how they’re doing. From work changes to the mundane schedule, the guys share their highs and lows for the past couple of months. Also, we share your feedback on some of our recent episodes, titillate you with some tweets, and give you some fun shows to watch.

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Back in the sunlight, Fuck you allergies
  • Damon: Cincy Leather, Work (Non)Fun, & Gaming
  • Gary: Work, Dad, Sleep, Repeat

Feedback 

Facebook Share:

  • Sept 17th – Aron Moberg shared out COL525: What is…Confidence? Episode post

Facebook Likes:

  • Anwar Lordsire
  • Stephen Buzz Foster
  • Ronnie Kassis
  • Bruce Gohr

Facebook Comment/Post:

  • Re: COL522: Trans Bear Interview – Charles S. Scott Great episode! 🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻
  • Re: COL519: What’s Going On – July 2019 – Michael Quinichett Lmt If reference to my phone call into COL, this is what I meant when I said I “get on top of the client.” 😘😂

Instagram Followers

  • ascohn
  • toadberg
  • msd_1802
  • issac.benjamin.14
  • demondoctortheseries

Instagram Comments

  • Oan_ragnari It’s so beautiful. – Oan’s COL chili bowl pics!
  • Re: COL516: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part One – hauntcub: I wonder what a daddy cub could contribute?

YouTube Subscribers:

  • Lovel Trahan

YouTube Comment:

  • Re: COL429: Power Hour 5: Drunk Cubs, The Next Birthday Bash – Oan R. Tacos and enchiladas. And more shirtless Gary.
  • Re: COL523: Power Hour 7: Jeff’s Birthday Basharino – Oan R. I’m scared. Drunk me is on the internet. Lol. For the record, I was good on shots until I reached the minute of my birthday. Then started skipping. (I also might’ve been trying to hold some of it down)

Email:

  • Name: Henry    Message: Hi, guys. Still enjoying your podcast after all these years. (Although the one about trans acceptance did seem to go on & on and got on my nerves. Not sure if that’s because I’m personally uncomfortable with the subect, or just due to my habitual short attention span.)   Anyhoo (to quote Damon), your call in COL515 for suggestions of topics for future shows made me think of one. Wonder what it was. In the time it took to seek out your website, go to Contact Us, fill in the top of this form, and type the preceding two paragraphs, it completely slipped my mind. [sigh] Age takes its toll…  

Oh yeah, that’s it! You jokingly mentioned being together in a home, 50 years from now, and still putting out the podcast. It immediately brought to mind the subject of retirement homes for gay men, something that has been on my mind as I have aged. I have found none in the Atlanta area, and I wonder if they exist in other locales. If so, perhaps you could bring in a representative from one (a resident would be great) to talk about the concept, the demand, the challenges & rewards of getting them up & running, the general atmosphere in such a place, and whatever else y’all and the guest might think appropriate. None of us is getting younger, and “what do I do now?” is a question that increasingly comes up.  Thanx for considering this. And keep on ‘castin’! Henry

  • Name: Mark     Message: Thanks again for restoring a button to download the podcasts. Could you do that for episodes 512-516? Thanks! UrsusMajr (Mark)

Voicemail

  • Oan: Re: What is … Self Love? And What is … Self Hate?

Twitter Followers

  • @GuyBeefy
  • @pupsm0ke
  • @TheReal07349630
  • @chub4me
  • @lbesthatlights1
  • @baerlover1
  • @frank60442046
  • @DavidCo79920899
  • @swissadultbaby
  • @CitiesCub

Twitter Comment:

  • re: COL521: What is…Respect? – @GBearTrekkie65: Replying to @cubsoutloud: Is the clothing optional gay campground mentioned in the episode The Woods Campground in Lehighton, PA?

Recent Shows

  • COL519: What’s Going On – July 2019
  • COL520: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part Two
  • COL521: What is. . . Respect?
  • COL522: Trans Bear Listener Interview
  • COL523: Power Hour 7: Jeff’s Birthday Basharino
  • COL524: LTAS: What Porn Taught Us – Part Three
  • COL525: What is. . . Confidence?
  • COL526: LTAK: From Yuk to Yum

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Links:

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COL484: Skeleton Crew Update

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys welcome back Joshua Pangborn from Skeleton Crew! After a successful Indiegogo campaign, the show is getting ready to launch its fourth season. The cubs discuss the last season with Joshua as well as its recent awards and gives us some insight to the new season. Listen in to get some of the “bone-us” info prior to the season launch later this year.

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Show Topic

Guest Interview with Joshua Pangborn to discuss the upcoming Season 4 launch and the recent awards news.

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COL368: Movie Blockbusters

COL368In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s summer blockbuster season and the guys take some time to discuss this year’s new movies. From superheroes and magic to a zombie daniel radcliffe and a sausage party, follow along as the cubs review some of this summer’s movie trailers.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Raiding Break, Mass Effect
  • Damon: Keeping busy/lazy
  • Gary: Adulting

Feedback:

Facebook:

From the Happy Birthday Post for Pedestal Fiery Biscuits:

  • Randall Stratton: aw he looks so different with a beard…
  • Tio DeUnaymas: I should go to iHop more often…

 

Post from ‎AJ Lewis‎: New Axe Commercial

 

Twitter:

 

Email:

Re: COL366: TTO: The _ILF Episode

  • RJ: Great podcast as always and lots of great choices on bears,cubs and daddies..hope you guys are doing well huge hugs.

Urbandictionary with Gary

movie ruin

  1. .Verb, to tell someone what is going to happen in a movie, or on the next episode of a show.
  2. Verb, to accidentally see a preview for the next episode of a TV show.

“yo i heard charlie is supposed to die in the next episode” said josh.

“awwww, why must you movie ruin?” cried danny

Weekly Topic

Discussion of the forth-coming summer movie season.

Already Released

Memorial Day

June

July

August

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