In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke to continue our Landscape of Relationships series. For this episode, Damon is on assignment in Detroit, Michigan and will fill us in on his experience in a future episode while Jeff and Gary chat with Edward about what is a chosen family. From our origins to the aunties, cousins, sisters, and brothers we choose, the LGBTQ community has developed its own families. But are they still needed today?
“chosen families are nonbiological kinship bonds, whether legally recognized or not, deliberately chosen for the purpose of mutual support and love.
Families We Choose: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship, cultural anthropologist Kath Weston defines chosen family as consisting of “friends, partners and ex-partners, biological and non-biological children, and others who provide kinship support.”
The term originated within the LGBTQ community and was used to describe early queer gatherings like the Harlem Drag Balls of the late nineteenth century.
Movies like Paris is Burning, shows like Pose as well as RENT highlighted the concept of chosen families
Often times a protective factor against forms of discrimination and violence at home and helps create positive and, hopefully, secure, attachments with others.
Last year, New York City began allowing workers to use paid time off to care for anyone they personally define as family, whether they’re “related by blood or affinity.” In doing so, NYC joined other major metropolises like Chicago, San Francisco, and St. Paul, MN, as well as states like Arizona and Rhode Island, in honoring non-biological kinship.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys present another “What is…” show. For this episode, the cubs explore the emotion known as gratitude. As Thanksgiving draws ever closer and the pandemic keeps us further apart, the guys reflect on what they are thankful for and what that means to themselves and the world as a whole.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs roll the dice on the topic of tabletop gaming. Listen in as the guys throw their cards on the table about what games they enjoy, what they like and don’t like about tabletop and card gaming. From the groans when someone mentions Monopoly to the joy and excitement of Exploding Kittens, have some fun gathering around for a great gaming adventure.
Chester Beltowski: I’m listening to episode COL398: Bud Sex and I am laughing my ass off at the “old fluids” bit, man I wish I was on the show for this! BTW Damon, the “wall” you were describing can be considered anthropologically significant.
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From right after Christmas…
Hi, guys. I’m about 2 months behind in listening to your podcast, and I’m having a problem with Chester’s “I’ll Tumbl For You” links. Whenever I try to open one (current example), I get “The URL you requested could not be found.” I tried following Chester’s “The Cub Up There” blog back to the date of the show (slow-scrolling thru 2 months of backlog), but I couldn’t find anything there that looked like what he described on the show.
Is it possible that Chester deletes his Tumblr posts after the “Cubs Out Loud” podcast?
Keep ’em coming, & merry holidays,
Henry
Atlanta, Ga.
From after COL398 ‘Bud Sex’
Hi there cubs!
First of all, Happy New Year and thanks for having Hadrian read those stories a few episodes ago! It definitely made the cold weather somewhat warmer 😀 Second, I just finished listening to the Bud Sex episode you just released. I also briefly read the scientific journal article afterward. Being that you have indirectly summoned the COL scientist (thanks for the title, Jeff), I considered writing about a few things relevant to the discussion.
Defining/measuring sexual orientation: A few of you mentioned the Kinsey scale to define sexual orientation. As revolutionary as this scale was back in the 50s, it does not represent sexual orientation accurately. Consider it more of a legacy instrument than a good one to define and measure sexual orientation. More recent models have proposed at least 3 dimensions to sexual orientation that can explain most of what we observe: identity, behavior, attraction.
Identity refers to how you define yourself, in this case, sexually. If you identify as gay, bi, straight, queer, etc. that is your identity.
Behavior refers to what people do sexually. In other words, who are people having sex with?
Attraction refers to the gender you are attracted to.
Further, imagine that these 3 dimensions can be measured on a scale (for example, 1 to 10) instead of a “yes” or “no.” For example, I identify as gay (10) and do not identify as bi (0), straight (0), or queer (0); I have only had sex with men (10) and I have not had sex with women (0); and I feel very attracted to men (9) and a little attracted to women (3). Now, based on our understanding of sexual orientation with these 3 dimensions we can conceive the existence of men who identify as straight, have sex with men and women at different levels, and feel attracted to both males and females at different levels. That is what sociologists, anthropologists, and the community at large may consider MSM, brojob, or bud-sex dude. Consider also those guys who identify as gay (8-10), who have only had sex with women because of social expectations or other reasons, and may be attracted to men way more than to women. I have met bears who were married, had kids, ended up getting a divorce, and are in a current relationship with another guy. They do not consider themselves as bisexual. The combinations are endless and could also encompass asexual (identity) people who are not interested in sex (behavior), but like people of their own, opposite, or both genders(attraction). I have found in my own research that this model captures way more information than a simple yes/no or Kinsley scale. Also, with this more comprehensive model, there is no need to challenge anyone’s identity because of who they are having sex with. Science is not barely catching up. In psychology we have had this and similar models for a long time (probably 30 years) but since it is more complicated to understand and does not raise much controversy, popular publications outside the field pay little attention.
Sample size: Yes, 19 participants are not much and all of them are self-selected. Both things affect generalizability. Unless you have millions of dollars to conduct a study or you are gathering data for a census, this limitation is common, especially on research using interviews as the method to collect data. This limitation does not prevent the information to be valuable, especially when it elicits new ideas and a few hypotheses just like the ones Hadrian presented.
As usual, if you have any extra questions please let me know.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, It’s another Let’s Talk About Kink. The cubs are joined by guest hosts Bruce, Shutter, and Josh as we talk about watersports. From piss play to recycling, the guys discuss the different variations of the yellow hankie.
Chester – Last on the show in October for LTAK: Chastity. I’ve finished school, I have 2 weeks left here in London. A very full list of bear runs planned when I return.
Josh – If the area around your appendix is hurting, you should probably see a doctor…
Water Pisstol: The act of pouring piss into ones anus with a funnel, after which masturbating furiously for 10 seconds (acting like the pump on a water pistol). After which the participant squeezes the piss out of their arse like a water pistol.
”Last night my friend came round to my house and we both help each other fill out water pisstols then had a water pisstol fight” ”Last night I was practising with my water pisstol, I shot three meters”
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we have a special episode with the incredibly tasty Hadrian McQuiag and the ever enjoyable Gabe Majors. We brought together members of our COL family to discuss what technology we use today for some uhh… stress relief.