Tag Archives: fuzzbutt

COL288: Let’s Talk About Kink – Protocols

In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we welcome back Ches and Matt to discuss the topic of protocols in a BDSM power exchange. From examples in their relationship, the cubs get to learn more about what protocols actually are and the benefits they serve the dom/sub relationship

Play

What’s Going On?

  • [Jeff] – Molten Corgi
  • [Damon] – Housebuying…meh
  • [Gary] – FOOD, FRIENDSHIP, and SNOW
  • [Ches] – Went to Makers Mark distillery with the huzbear yesterday; judged Mr. Crossings Leather last night – whip gone missing; getting excited for Midwest Bearfest
  • [Matt] – Too good for AT&T

Feedback:

COL WEBSITE: About Us

From Anthony:

I am in love with this podcast! You guys are super funny and give really good advice. As someone who is young and came out fairly recently you guys have really helped me be informed I never knew I should know about as a gay man. You’re like the gay dads I wish I had. I love you guys a lot, keep doing what you’re doing and I look forward to whats next. ;3

P.S. You guys should do more stuff with Gabe, Matt, and Hadrian. And more on the road stuff with Gary. Please and thank you!

[Cubs Out Loud] Comment: “COL282: Let’s Talk About Kink – Dom/sub, you don’t say!”

From Reggie S.

Great job!  I’m really a bit sad I listened to this in the car on my way to work this morning as there were so many things I wanted to write down and say here in the comments.  I still have about 20 minutes more to listen to but I figure why not get it all down while it’s still got that hot french fry feeling!  First of all, thank you for doing this show, you’re providing a great service.  Secondly, thanks for having fantastically educated guests who don’t pull punches but delivered digestible doses of truth and education on a topic I am still coming to understand myself.  I’m still new to my life as a sub; being a black man in the United States who has race play as one of his kinks has taken some getting use to. That being said, your guests made one point that resonated deeply with me and I wanted to thank them and the show for it… Function over Form.  There have been many situations in my life as a gay man where I have felt very “on the outside”. Sir has proven to me that, despite any outside disqualifications I may have to any given group, I do have things to offer. I wouldn’t be so bold as to speak for Sir but he has never denied me. I am his boy. Regardless of whatever preconceived notions I still have of my outside appearance or the validity of this relationship to others, he has never failed to make me feel like his and that has in many ways allowed me to feel what it is like “on the inside”.  Thanks again and keep up the great work.  😀

Weekly Topic

Protocol

  • What is Protocol? [Definition, types, examples]
    • Rules, rituals, formalized behaviors
      • hard and fast rules
      • situational suspension of protocol
      • growth, progress and process
    • Immediate service-based protocol
    • Distance protocols
    • Examples
      • Speech/communication/signals
        • use of titles, names, modes of speech
          • interruptions
        • check-ins, reports, being “on call”
        • hand signals, gestures
        • reflection protocol – diary, blog, vlog, etc.
      • Clothing
        • by setting
        • prohibited/required items
      • Body position
        • presentation
        • movement in groups
      • Direct service
        • Sexual service
          • Chastity, orgasm control/denial
        • Situational behavior – social, public, private
      • Prohibited behaviors
      • Assigned tasks/programs of behavior
    • Creating/Implementing protocols in a power-exchange dynamic
      • purpose (narrow vs. broad)
        • personal development
        • communication purposes
        • expression of power imbalance
      • effectiveness (review, feedback)
        • periodic, contingency
      • changes to protocol
        • protocol stagnation, when protocol becomes habitual
      • pacing: too much, too little, too fast, too slow
  • What is it good for? (ie. What does everybody get out of it?)
    • What subs take away from protocols…
    • What Doms take away from protocols…
    • What outsiders take away from seeing the protocols of others…
  • What happens when protocol breaks down?
    • Keep it, fix it or scrap it?
    • Remember to focus on purpose and effectiveness at achieving that purpose

I’ll Tumbl For You:

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COL282: Let’s Talk About Kink – Dom/sub, you don’t say!

LTAKIn this episode of Cubs Out Loud, we welcome Ches and Matt to lead an in depth discussion on Dom/sub relationships. From defining some of the terms to offering their takes on the dynamics, the guys exchange insights and provide an intriguing dialogue on power exchange and control.

Play

What’s Going On?

  • [Damon]-Where I Have Been (Comic Con, Bluegrass Leather, Ren Fair)
  • [Gary] – Getting Older

Weekly Topic

BDSM Discussion: Dom/sub Dynamics

  • Dom/sub, Daddy/boy, Sir/boy, Master/slave
    • Role play vs Power Exchange
    • Power Exchange
      • Dom/sub – umbrella
      • “With great power comes great responsibility”
        • Master/slave – focus on pleasure of Master; steward/guardian of slave
        • Daddy/boy & Sir/boy – conditional submission; varying kinds
          • Daddy/boy – mentoring, growth and nurturing for better service in and out; temporary relationship with a defined beginning and end
          • Sir/boy – personal service tailored to the Sir ; extended dynamic with long term possibility
  • Labels, Identities & Titles
    • Look at the power exchange
    • Self-identification
    • Thoughts on Being a Bear
    • “Respect somebody else’s kink”
      • Needs, Activities, Experiences
    • “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” – old mantra?
    • “RACK – Risk, Aware, Consensual, Kink” – new mantra?
  • Play Dynamics vs. Scene Dynamics vs. Relationship Dynamics
    • Play – experiencing with known boundaries
    • Scene – substantial power exchange; individuals familiar with aspects of time, players, experience levels
    • Relationship – extend outside of private settings, more public appearance
  • Closeness of Leather/BDSM Community
    • Support structure for others
  • Respect, Reciprocity and Abuse
  • Personal Responsibility in Representation
  • Local Community Reaction
  • For Da Noobz

I’ll Tumbl For You:

Links:

  • [Gary] – No Boyfren Bon Qui Qui feat. Tammy

  • [Jeff] – Matt Alder – Handsome Man

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COL 254: Are Bear Groups Relevant Anymore?

BeargroupsIn this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys ask the question as to whether or not bear groups are relevant anymore. From our local clubs to the world at large, we discuss the impact bear groups have made and how changes in the community have affected them.

Play

What’s Going On?

  • [Jeff} – Legendary . . . again.
  • [Damon] – Party Time!
  • [Gary] – The Clock is Ticking

Feedback:

  • Facebook:

Marc: Jeff, I think ur my brother from another mother! We share similar views and tastes.

  • Google+: Justin Harris

Facebook Likes

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The COL Pedestal

  • Russell Wolf

Russell

Weekly Topic

  • [Damon] Are Bear Groups still needed?

I’ll Tumbl For You:

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COL253: LTAS: Who Gives a Celebrity Fuck?

MattisonIn this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys talk about SEX. This time around, it’s all about starfuckers. From the silver screen to the porn dvd, the guys state their favorite bearlebrities that they would like to screw. And as an added bonus, we talk about gingers.

Play

What’s Going On?

  • [Jeff] – I GOT THE JOB
  • [Damon] – Rude!

Feedback:

BU Group: kegp, ForeskinTugger

ForeskinTugger – I must say thank you for you all doing something that you probably didn’t even know you were doing. I am totally blind and in listening to your show number 252 when you guys were talking about the photos of the guys you described them. For those of us that are blind that is great. As for the three guys I would top the bear, vers the chubby and bottom the belly. Keep up the great work guys. A show idea for you to think about is foreskin restoration. It is becoming popular and one of the other sites I belong to has over 10,000 guys who are restoring their foreskins. I have a small group on here that has about 25 members that are restoring so even some bears are doing it too.

BeefyBuzz – Hodor!

Facebook Message:

Marc Durivage – COL252: I would totally top all three guys you posted (99%top here) but especially the beefy one. It’s always a rush to dominate someone bigger than myself. It’s like controlling a horse or other big creature. A lot of fun.

Facebook Likes:

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Weekly Topic
Celebrity Fucks

Jeff

  • Porn Star – VeniceCub on the sea

Venicecub

Professor_Amachi

  • Bearlebrity – Gabriel Majors

Gabrial Majors 2

Damon

Benthomas

Tyler_Labine-1

Dean1

Gary

Shep

dan_haggerty_with_bear

Dean2

Bonus:

  • Jeff: Fuzzbutt

Fuzzbutt

Fantacy Bear Jeff

Marc

I’ll Tumbl For You:

Bearly Relevant:

  • What about Gingers/Red Heads attracts you to them?

Links:

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COL246: Cubs Out Loud Presents the FMK’s

steak1On this week’s episode of Cubs Out Loud, the cubs play a twist on the Fuck Marry Kill game in celebration of our sixth anniversary. It’s a meaty conversation guaranteed to make you happy, so turn up your volume, COL246 starts now.

Play

What’s Going On?

  • [Damon] – Theater!!
  • [Eric] – Snowed In
  • [Gary] – GPC Fun

Eric’s Book Nook:

Weekly Topic

Cubs Out Loud 6th Year Anniversary

Fuck, Merry, Kill – Each pick a sex toy, something that makes us happy, and our favorite meat dish.

[Jeff]

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[Damon]

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[Gary]

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  • Merry – Hanging out with friends and laughing
  • Kill – Scotch Eggs

[Eric]

I’ll Tumbl For You:

Fill My Hole:

Links:

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