Tag Archives: emotional

Podcasts

COL540: The Landscape of Relationships – Part 2

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, the guys are joined once again by Edward Angelini-Cooke for an in depth discussion on relationships. For this second part, the guys delve into boundaries and rules. With Edward’s help, the cubs discuss the similarities and differences between these two terms, how they relate to each person and those involved in the relationship, and also discord on the potential minefield of expectations. How do we set our boundaries? Are expectations a good or a bad thing? What’s on your relationship checklist? The guys hash out these questions and more.

Show Topic

The Landscape of Relationships – Boundaries and Rules

Boundaries (“I Will/I Won’t”) v. Rules/Agreements/Expectations (“You/We Won’t”)

  • debated topic within relationship communities 
  • Is this a rule or a boundary?
    • Boundary as skin metaphor (protects us from bacteria, allows the good stuff in and sweats the bad stuff out, elastic with limitations [you can break skin], boundaries are about me
    • Rules are about us and you, jealousy, usually some form of control 
  • Pros and Cons of Rules 
    • Pros:
      • Contracts 
      • Establishing or Re-establishing solid foundation of connection and intimacy
      • Conditional…not unilateral or controlling
      • Spoken
    • Cons:
      • Can be Controlling
      • Can be rigid and unhealthy
      • Can be Set up to be broken 
      • Unspoken
  • Agreements are similar to the idea of a relationship contract or vows 
  • Expectations are resentments waiting to happen

Kinds of Personal Boundaries 

  • Emotional 
    • Example: Don’t go to the hardware store for bread
  • Physical
    • Examples: allergies, personal bubble, DON’T COME INTO MY ROOM, MOM!!!!
  • Time
    • Examples: don’t make plans within 24 hours, I have office hours on Tuesdays
  • Sexual
    • Examples: Consent, Refer to checklist
  • Intellectual 
    • Examples: Agree to disagree, awareness of who and what you are talking about 
  • Material 
    • Examples: Don’t lend out money, I need that sling back by Friday etc

Open-Relationship Checklist 

  • Fill this out separately for you, not your partner 
    • Find out your boundaries first THEN discuss your partner’s THEN discuss how they overlap or don’t overlap

Review:

  • Communication 
  • Boundaries are like skin 
  • You Don’t Have to Be In an Open Relationship to Discuss Boundaries!!!!!

Books:

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Drag Race

COLDR: S11E06-08: Draglympics, Farm to Runway, and Snatch Game at Sea

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In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’,  Gary and Damon catch up after forces beyond their control kept them from spilling the tea the past few weeks. Anyway, they are back and are smashing together 3 episodes in one SUPA SIZED SPECTACULAR! To bring it all to the present, the guys share their thoughts on the Draglympics athletic challenge and golden runway, the design challenge that’s farm to runway, and finalize with this season’s version of the Snatch Game. All this, plus the drama really builds up in Untucked as the queens are feeling the pressure.

WEEKLY TOPIC

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 11

Episode 6 – Draglympics

Mini Challenge:

  • [Damon] – LOVED THIS!
  • [Gary] – Silly But Fun

Maxi Challenge:

  • [Damon] – Could Have Done More
  • [Gary] – Too Much Fear

Stomp the Runway:

  • [Damon] – Angel Plastique/Norma Brooke Lyn
  • [Gary] – A’keria SLAYED

Let It All Hang Out Hunty:

  • [Damon] – Tough Love
  • [Gary] – The Giving of Gifts [aka criticism]

Lip Sync for Your Life:

  • [Damon] – I’m “Shocked”….
  • [Gary] – Lacking Drama and Excitement

Snaps & Eyerolls:

  • [Damon] – Snaps for… Yvie Pushing Through
  • [Damon] – Eyerolls for… Ra’Jah delusions
  • [Gary] – Snaps for… Non-Ru Guest Love Connie!
  • [Gary] – Eyerolls for… Vanjie, Vanjie, Vanjie

Episode 7 – From Farm to Runway

Mini Challenge:

  • [Damon] –  Ummmmm…..
  • [Gary] – WTH is this bafoonery?

Maxi Challenge:

  • [Damon] – Hoedown Seemed Forced/Runway was uneven
  • [Gary] – I dunno…welcome to the potluck episode?

Stomp the Runway:

  • [Damon] – Good Job Yvie/Brooke/Plastique
  • [Gary] – Challenging…But Mostly Underwhelming

Let It All Hang Out Hunty:

  • [Damon] – Drama HITS THE FAN
  • [Gary] – Drama…who cares? Not me.

Lip Sync for Your Life:

  • [Damon] –  I knew who was going home…
  • [Gary] – It was….okay?

Snaps & Eyerolls:

  • [Damon] – Snaps for… Yvie showing glamour
  • [Damon] – Eyerolls for… Ra’Jah Delusions….
  • [Gary] – Snaps for… Alyssa Edwards Notes!
  • [Gary] – Eyerolls for… Vanjie, Vanjie, Vanjie

Episode 8 – Snatch Game At Sea

Mini Challenge:

  • [Damon] –  Nina Made Me Laugh
  • [Gary] – Not That Easy, Now is it Vanessie?

Maxi Challenge:

  • [Damon] – You Know What I’m Going to Say….
  • [Gary] – Belly Flops and Swan Dives

Stomp the Runway:

  • [Damon] – Someone was Robbed
  • [Gary] – Shuga Serving Eggplant

Let It All Hang Out Hunty:

  • [Damon] – First Untucked in a while I’ve liked
  • [Gary] – Nerves On Display

Lip Sync for Your Life:

  • [Damon] – GOTDAMN!!
  • [Gary] – FINALLY!

Snaps & Eyerolls:

  • [Damon] – Snaps for… Brookie’s Runway/LSFYL
  • [Damon] – Eyerolls for… Silky’s Face…
  • [Gary] – Snaps for… Nina’s Runway
  • [Gary] – Eyerolls for… Shuga’s Non-Win…WTF!

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Drag Race

COLDR: AS4E04: Jersey Justice

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In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon are dishing out a little justice…Jersey Style! For this comedy/improv based challenge, listen in as the guys review the queens as they have their day in court. Who’s guilty of not giving it their all?

WEEKLY TOPIC

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 4

Jersey Justice Challenge:

  • [Damon] – GTL-Good. Terrible. Laughable.
  • [Gary] – Comedy Challenge Clownery

Runway:

  • [Damon] – Some Great Looks
  • [Gary] – Creativity Delivered

Lip Sync for Your Legacy:

  • [Damon] – No More Tears…
  • [Gary] – Planned Plotline

Snaps & Eyerolls:

  • [Damon] – Snaps for…Elton John Cameo/Val & Trin Fights
  • [Damon] – Eyerolls for…Step it Up/No More Excuses
  • [Gary] – Snaps for… Leaning into Fun
  • [Gary] – Eyerolls for… Cray, Cray, Cray

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Drag Race, Podcasts

COLDR: S10E06: DragCon Panel Extravaganza

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In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Chester and Gary welcome extra special guest host Mark. The queens develop panel discussions in front of a live audience about face, body, and hair. And this week word is… ‘proportion-izing’! But it’s the runway Hat’s entertainment…where hair and even IKEA lamps sit atop these queens. Tune in to find out which moments made the guys weep, and which panel discussion they would attend at the next DragCon.

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WEEKLY TOPIC

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10

Mini/Maxi:

  • [Mark] – Really, sitting on food!?

Snatched:

  • [Mark] – The Vixen is shook … I think she pushed a lot of the negative feedback onto her teammates to save herself emotionally

Snaps / Eyerolls:

  • [Mark] – Snaps… Eurekas mama made me cry … Blair is exposed and it was raw. #twirlforpeggy
  • [Mark] – Eyerolls… Vixen thought she was safe … for realz!! That lip sync shook her a bit but she pulled it out.

Last Call:

  • [Mark] – It was good to see Eureka making amends and building bridges again by owning her big personality and YYYYYAAAAAASSSSS NEXT WEEK IS SNATCH GAME, Bianca is here and the penultimate question of “who should go home and why?” Is asked … check you edges and your alliances/friendships … it’s about to get real!

COLDR Merch in the COL Zazzle Store

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Podcasts

COL421: Couples Age Differences

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In this episode of Cubs Out Loud,  we are joined by Ches to talk about intergenerational relationships: the good, the bad, and the uncomfortable. We get it on with the May-December, throw down with All the Young Dudes, dust off our Silver Daddy/Santa fantasies, and talk about how cubs and Daddy bears make age-gaps in relationships work.

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Introduction Topics

What’s Going On?

  • Jeff: Computer Down, Repeat, Computer Down!
  • Damon: Part of an panel
  • Chester: It’s been a hell of a month!
  • Gary: Guess who’s back in the house?
  • Ches: Pride; Birthday; Welcome baby Finnian!

Feedback:

Facebook Comment:

  • Andrew Ealy ordered a COL T-Shirt and sent us a photo with the message “How YOU doin’ !!! Got my new COL shirt today!”

Twitter Followers:

Twitter Messages:

  • @dftbapaul in re: to
    • COLSP06: Daddy’s Day Storytime
      • “Whew that was sexy. Blushing at work
      • In a reply to @fyzzgiggidy
        • Btw a good way to get more info is to go to the @cubsoutloud podcast and use the search feature and look up the ltak (let’s talk about kink)
    • Missing COLDR tweets.

Weekly Topic

Relationships with Age Spans between the Partners

  • Age is a number… Generational Gaps no longer defined
  • Values, Morals, and Ethics.
    • Values: Are having an emotional investment (either for or against something)
    • Morals: Are your ideas of what is right and what is wrong
    • Ethics: Are a set of rules which are explicitly adopted by a group of people
  • Age, Maturity, Life Experiences
    • Older Age =/= Mature, just as Younger Age =/= immature
  • Friends and Family Reactions/Acceptance
  • Challenges
    • Lack of life experiences can be frustrating
    • Facing down the question of mortality
  • Advantages
    • Experiencing new things together
      • Sharing our favorite things
        • music, movies, Gaming/TTG
      • Seeing things “new” again
      • The ability to help teach

Cooldown Topics

I’ll Tumbl For Ya:

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