Griff and Jeff welcome JJ back as the hot substitute podcaster to discuss a bevy of listener feedback and how to find your bear. All that and a handful of news from around the gay community.
Hosts: Griff, Jeff and JJ
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Amazing Weekends
COL News
Feedback:
- Email from Phil – Re: Bear411
Hey Jeff, Timcub and Griff
Just thought I’d tell you a story that really made me consider the discussions you’ve had in the recent and not-so-recent past about Bear411 and cliqueishness in the bear community. Last night, I submitted a profile to Bear411. I followed all the requirements, including providing a face pic. This morning, I received an email from the webmaster notifying me that my submitted profile could not be approved. There was absolutely no explanation provided. The website suggested I post my profile at MenOnline.com, presumably one of Bear411’s sister sites.
I have read extensively about the whole fracas over Bear411 being especially picky and/or arbitrary as to who they consider worthy of being on the site. While I do not know the ultimate reason for the rejection, I can’t help but wonder if it’s something they found personally unattractive about me. If I must label myself, I consider myself to be a chub, standing at 5’9″ and weighing 265. However, I do not grow substantial facial hair patterns and usually go smooth shaven. Call it genetics or God or whatever, I’m just not the hairiest guy. My submitted facepic reflects this, and I wonder if they took one look at it and said “NOT A BEAR” before rejecting my profile.
I’ve been listening to COL long enough to remember the infamous verbal back-and-forth between John John and Griff over the site. Most of the time, I can understand each side of the argument…but right about now, I’m sympathizing with John John, if only because I now know what it is like to feel rejected. (I know, you can get out the violins now… Ha!)
Is all this Bear411 drama proof that some bears are just cliqueish and not very kind about it? I’ve noticed even that when going to JJ’s, my local bear bar in St. Louis, I feel less and less welcome lately because I’m merely husky without the hairy. Are chubs are the new twink in the bear communty? I mean no harm to our twink brothers…but I’ve seen a lot of dismissive language sent their way…and I’m even guilty of it in the past.
I get it. People like what they like, but what the P-FUCK? Does the webmaster of Bear411 not consider that there are chub-admirers out there? Who knows, I might have become a paid member. That’s their monetary loss, I guess.
Your thoughts? Keep up the great work, guys!
Phil
St. Louis, MO
- Email from Thlayli – Straight Guys at the Bear Bar
First off, the last show was great; very much enjoyed it.
Secondly, sorry the feedback is so late, and so short.
Third: Here’s a verbatim quote from Griff:
“If you are a bartender at a gay establishment, or a barback, or work in any capacity there, I kinda think that you are opening yourself up to be hit on, touched, fondled and what-not, and I think that’s okay; that’s sort of acceptable in gay bars especially.”
Holy SHIT.
Um, no. That is not okay. It’s not acceptable for anyone to be fondled – or “what-not” just because they happen to working at a bar. Any bar. Including gay bars. While it’s true that there’s a certain amount of being hit-on that anyone dealing with the public might have to deal with, there’s a fucking line. No touching unless it’s consented to. Period.
Regarding the topics:
Should gay bars hire straight employees?
Sure, why not? Bar employees are not there to fuck the patrons. Sexuality is irrelevant. If the employee doesn’t realize that he’d applied for a job at a gay bar, he/she should be fired on grounds of stupidity.
Should gay bars host bachelorette parties?
No. As there is no legal way around this, (other than 100% private clubs, and those laws may vary from state to state, I don’t know), your weapon is shame. Bachelorettes should show a little fucking sensitivity in this regard – I think it actually IS a little insensitive to use gay clubs as a safe haven from the straight men. If I’m out at a bar, I’d rather enjoy myself, rather than being looked on as an exhibit in a zoo by all the straight folks. Sadly, this is what seems to happen when bachelorette parties arrive. If someone in the party approaches me, the following three things will happen: 1) I’ll be asked to tell my coming out story, 2) I’ll be asked to “prove” that I’m gay, and 3) I’ll be told that it’s a waste for me to be gay.
Anyone phoning in to arrange a bachelorette party at a gay bar should be treated like dirt. Like someone who thinks blackface is funny.
Yarg. As usual, my feedback wants to be an essay. Going to sign off now.
Hugs to all,
Chris (Thlayli)
- Email from Dave – Name Change and Scruff
Hi Boys,
I really enjoyed your last podcast. Great job and I have been listening for a couple of years. I live in MA and I am engaged to be married. We talked about the whole name change thing when we first became engaged last spring. We decided to keep our own names at that time and I had no problem with that. We both have long last names so the combined names would be around 16 letters long.
As it turns out my soon to be husband told me one night about a month ago that he wanted to take my last name. His decision to take my last name made me very happy, I not sure why but it did.
I also use Scruff. I also listen to Bear Podcast and they had one of the guys who were responsible for Scruff on there podcast. At the time there was just 2 guys doing all of it and they both had full time jobs too. You can listen to the pod cast at http://bearpodcast.com/show/?p=1303. Jeff give them a break, Scruff is much better than Grindr and I see the type of men I like.
Big Bear Hugs,
Dave
[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/KellenBrando/status/23034077972″]
Topics:
WTP:
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- Foreskin Man – Griff
- Sharpie Pencil – Griff
- The new Digg – JJ
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