In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon celebrate not only the grand finale of Season 15, but also a major milestone for the show! With the Top 4 queens going head to head to head to head (how’s your head?), listen as the guys share their thoughts when all the queens reunite and we crown a winner baby!!
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. Dr. Edward Angelini-Cooke joins the cubs again to discuss sexual desire. While not a usual LoR topic, it can be part of the conversation. Listen as Ed speaks on the complicated definition of sexual desire, where it comes from, and what impacts it in our day-to-day lives.
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Sexual Desire
First, sexual desire is complicated.
Is it an emotion? Yes
Is it a motivation? Yes
Is it a state of being? Yes
Is it required to have sex? Not necessarily
Sexual desire is the interest (or lack of interest) toward engaging in sexual activity. This presents itself with thoughts, feelings, and fantasies. Some people look at sexual desire existing on a spectrum from disgust to neutral to excited.
One way I have heard sexual desire described is akin to hunger. And I like this analogy for a few reasons that we will discuss.
Let’s go back to the idea of a smorgasbord….let’s imagine that there is not a Golden Corral that can hold the variety of sexual desire (Rule 34 of the Internet). So when we talk about sexual desire, the limit does not seem to exist.
What impacts sexual desire?
Biology/Evolution
Age can be a factor, Propagation of the species (sex as a reward); amygdala (emotional center) and hypothalamus (responsible for sexual arousal) Men’s desire is more based on visual cues when compared to women, cued interest “we don’t know why we desire something” v. uncued interest “has an origin story”; the “absolute territory” (Japanese zettai ryouiki), the band of skin between the bottom of the end of the skirt and the top of the socks. Disclaimer: this is based on statistics and not all human behavior can be reduced to statistics. If this isn’t your experience, it does not mean you are not valid.
Anxiety, Unhelpful body/sexual narratives, other sexual disorders
Social
Cultural sexual narratives and scripts
“For most of Western Civilization low sexual desire has been a goal, not a problem.” – David Schnarch
In a sex negative world, no wonder people are so confused about their sexual desires or lack thereof. Remember the sexual smorgasbord idea? If dominating cultural narratives created the smorgasbord, then there would only be a few options for a few people….the rest would be closed.
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s time for another Landscape of Relationships. For this one, it’s time to belly up to the table as Dr. Ed scoops up a heaping helping of the smorgasbord relationship dynamic. Chow down with the cubs as they sink their teeth into this idea of understanding relationship anarchy. As the guys get to the meat of this topic, will you keep asking for seconds or will you be full up?
Show Topic
Landscape of Relationships: Smörgåsbord
Landscape of Relationships is back with Dr. Angelini-Cooke to discuss the yummy idea of a Smörgåsbord. Belly up and get ready to sink your teeth into some tasty discussion.
Last month we discussed relationship anarchy, a relationship philosophy developed by Andie Nordgren, that suggests that relationships shouldn’t be bound by any rules not agreed upon by the involved parties.
The relationship anarchy Smorgasbord finds its origins in December 2016 by Lyrica Lawrence and Heather Orr in Vancouver polyamory. This was updated by Maxx Hill in April and September of 2018. The fifth version was created in January 2019.
“This board includes a number of concepts antithetical to many understandings of RA. Not all who use this are Relationship Anarchists, and those who are may need to discuss how their relational style differs from cultural norms.
The categories are loose generalizations to help conversation, and are arranged with those relating to the larger social/political systems toward the outside, and the more personal toward the center.
To form your relationships: you and another can pick any number of “items” from any number of “platters,” take a huge helping or just a scoop. The dish the two of you hold is your relationship. Remember you must agree together on what is in it! No sneaking items in without the other knowing, or there will likely be conflict or disappointment later. Also: it’s your dish, so if you decide to change what you want from the smörgåsbord later, that’s cool.”
Categories: Physical Intimacy, Kink, Emotional Intimacy, Power Exchange, Partnership, Sexual, Romanctic Collaborative, Professional/Work, Creative, Co-caregivers, Companionship Playfulness, Public Displays of Affection, Emotional Support, Communication, Financial, Legal, Power/Hierarchy, Exclusivity, Caregiving, Religious/Spirituality, Labels/terms, Systems of Oppression (within each of these categories are related items).
“Suggested Notations:
Yes, Maybe, Maybe in the Future, and Let’s Talk, Definitely No. Color-coding and highlighting is fun too.”
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, Let’s Talk About Sex. This time around, the guys discuss how monkeypox has become a part of social/online media; from hookup apps to chat threads and beyond. With plenty of misinformation, how much is opinion versus fact? With comparisons being made and echoes to the origins of the AIDS epidemic 40 years ago, listen in as the cubs express their feelings towards this new health crisis.
Show Topic
LTAS: Monkeypox v Social Media
Let’s Talk About Sex series returns. This time the guys discuss how Monkeypox has become a part of social media/online from hookup apps to chat threads and beyond. There’s plenty being said yet how much is opinion vs fact? Comparisons have been made of echoes to the origins of the AIDS epidemic 40 years ago. Do we agree with this?
In this episode of Cubs Out Loud, it’s our What’s Going On for the month of May. As the unofficial start to summer begins, catch up with the guys as they deal with work issues, traveling and finding the best spot for a wedding. In addition, the guys got a lot of feedback after this month with plenty of likes and comments that gave them much to discuss.
What’s Going On?
Jeff: Oh, yay, hiring spree. 🙁
Damon: Wedding Venues and Nashville
Gary: Up, Down, Sideways, and All Around
Feedback
Facebook Likes:
Marc E Johnson
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Carlos Perez
Donnie Lockwood
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Jason Bolton-Lambert
Harry Wright
Ruben Rios
BaoBao Lai
Damien Leahy
Louis LaBella
Jimm Baker
Brad Savage
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James Diele-Stein
Rennie Thomas
Mario Jimenez
Steven Remsing
Hassan Soliman
Jonathan A Crockett
Colin Ashante
Gonzalo Sos
Peter Stevenson
YouTube Subscribers:
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YouTube Comment:
COL647: Consent in 2022: Oan – “Jeff: “we can blame this all on the millennial.” Me: “what did I do?”
COL647: Consent in 2022: Berty Bertface – “You probably cover this in the show, but I believe the effect of social media on Gen Y and even worse still Gen Z, has not been a positive one. Consent or permission is absent from the younger generations. And they are having an impact in daily life. It’s the “Better to beg for forgiveness, than ask for permission” moto of Gen Z. Which is sooooo much fun, right up until you have kids, and they use it on you. Gen Z especially speak and act as though they are living permanently in a comment section, using terrible gramnar and appalling diction. They speak in an unfiltered manner, with such strong conviction that their opinion is the only one that should be heard. It’s not their fault however. Perhaps any generation that had (in certain circumstances) unrestricted access to incredible ammounts of information and disinformation all at once, in a easily digestible format, all at the touch of your fingers tips, would end up exactly the same? As well as the boldening of people’s opinions, many are far less tolerant, and far too sensitive than years past. P.C. (now wokeness) has gone haywire, and there is becoming less and less room for discourse. Internet pseudo science runs rampant in the minds of the young, who are armed only with opinions and feelings, whilst completely denying facts. Rant over, Soz.”
COL645: LTAS: Aging Adult Entertainers: Jonathan – “Hi guys. It’s terribly sad about Paul Reed Yinger a.k.a. Steve “Titpig” Hurley passing away as he was one of my favourite adult performers. A strong manly man who never disappointed onscreen. Like you, I often wonder about other performers who are no longer present onscreen and who I have this snapshot of in my brain but who haven’t performed in a long time now. I’m especially thinking about Will West and Ed Diamond, who specialised in bareback porn. There’s a hot scene with Titpig and Will West in a movie called Will West Raw. Then there’s Paul Morgan who did both gay and straight porn and was a prolific performer before vanishing. I guess I just want to know that these guys are out there, happy and healthy and when they leave the movie scene and aren’t heard of again, it’s almost impossible to know. Anyhow, great show and thanks for making mention of Mr. Yinger and raising the topic about ageing adult entertainers.”
COL649: LOR: Red Flags, Green Flags: Oan – “Hey, so I had a question. I don’t know if Ed will ever read this but to the hosts, what would the social protocol be if you want to use the word “sir” in like a courtesy type manner while addressing a person who also happens to be in the bear (leather/bdsm/insert other category here) community?”
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Twitter Message:
“need some advice, my guy want to have a threesome. Not sure if I’m interested right now. how should I talk with him?”
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Recent Shows
COL646: WGO: April 2022
COL647: Consent in 2022
COL648: Voting in 2022
COL649: LoR: Red Flags, Green Flags
Shout Out
Obtw, previous guest Paul Lanner has an event coming up soon and would love to see you there. Visit HAH The Event.com for info for support and attending.
Also… remember when we had previous guest Joshua Pangborn from SideKick Productions on for the award winning series Skeleton Crew? Well they have a new project underway with their film “A Taste of Youth” where a fundraising campaign has been launched with Indiegogo. Consider supporting Queer Horror and Fat Positivity content by visiting A Taste of Youth.com to see how you can help make this horror feature happen.
In this episode of COL Drag Race ‘T-Time’, Gary and Damon celebrate not only the grand finale of Season 15, but also a major milestone for the show! With the Top 4 queens going head to head to head to head (how’s your head?), listen as the guys share their thoughts when all the queens reunite and we crown a winner baby!!
