All posts by boxtech

COL119: GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!

Steve joins with Tim and Jeff to discuss more about HIV positive people and relationships, Gay men are thinner to straights, Jeff’s mind is blown 3 times and Soccer.

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Amazing Weekends.

Feedback:
Dear COL

I wanted to commend you for tackling the subject of HIV on your episode (COL15). I think you handled a difficult subject with great honesty and sincerity.

A few years ago, I was in a situation where I had no choice but to reveal someone status to another person who I hardly knew. “Bob” came up from the States with a few mutual friends I knew for fun. He ran into , and started making out with “Fred.” (not their real names) . Now Fred had a nasty habit of not revealing his status. I knew this because he was with my friend “Barney,” who he never told until 6 months into the relationship. They both barebacked and unfortunately Barney ended up being POZ. In fact, I watched Fred be pretty irresponsible. He slept with several people without telling them his status. All of them presumed he was “healthy” ( one guy told me he presumed because he was a bear and in medical field he was considered safe -(go figure)).

When I saw Fred head off with Bob to the backroom, alarm bells went off in my head. I didn’t know Bob that well. I felt in one way it’s his business. At the same time, I felt I had a responsibility to tell him. So I called Bob the next day, and told him. He freaked, confronted Fred right away, who then told him his status. Bob got tested right away. After 3 test (and after being on a few HIV preventive pills for 30 days which he told me left him nauseous, and tired) Bob remained negative. He’s been grateful that I told him. We became good friends every since. As for Fred he stopped talking to me after he found out that I revealed his staus and has since left town. He was basically shunned by many other people who also found out about him, after he had sex with their friends. Unforuantely Barney never pressed charges nor reported him to Toronto Public Health out fo fear of his own sexual history being revealed.

When it comes down to revealing someone status, it’s tough cause you have to weigh one’s right to privacy. IMHO, anyone who is sexually active today, should be aware of the risks including HIV and other sexual transmitted diseases (or infections) out there. It’s up to all of us to be responsible for our own sexual behavior. In some cases you could be breaking the law. In Canada, you could be charged with manslaughter or even first degree murder if you don’t disclose your HIV status to potential sexual partners.

Some HIV activists argue that such laws are discriminatory because they punish POZ people unfairly without examining both people behavior in the first place.

I can see where they are coming from. I spoke to a few POZ people who are hurt by being rejected. They feel that they are treated as the new untouchables. I know for myself I wouldn’t be comfortable being with a POZ person. When someone tells me that they are POZ, I been honest with them and let them down slowly without insulting them or treating them like an untouchable.

It doesn’t help that there so many mixed messages out there today especially on people profiles. It doesn’t help when some of profiles out there state that they are “clean,” (does that mean untouch-if you sleep with soneone than you are sleeping with them and their past partners so no one pure) or people who are looking to get “the gift.” –looking to become POZ. (Eventhough their are pills to make life living with HIV much more confortable there still very emotially and physically draining )

I sometimes I wonder have we forgetten that this is an awful disease that destroys so many lives? When did we end up treating this like a joke? or is some of us so shallow that we end up treating each other badly by being irresponsible?!!?

We all have to remember that if we are sexually active today then we know the risks, and should act accordingly. Use your head, have safer sex, and get tested. It’s the only way that this disease will be eradicated until they find a cure. After all something so wonderful, and fun like sex should not be something that you should have regretes afterwords.

PEACE

Don

Toronto, Canada

COL News

]WTP:

  • BP Oil Spill – Steve

Picks:

  • Avatar Days – Jeff

  • Mortal Kombat Rebirth – Jeff

  • The A-Team – Jeff

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LitBEARary events during Summer Bear Week, Ptown, July 16-17, 2010

From Ron Suresha:

Does a bear read on the beach?
You bet your sweet woof he does!

Event announcement:
Everybear’s invited to Two Free Lit-BEAR-ary Events during Summer Bear Week!

Jeff Mann, Lammy-winning bear author,
visiting from Virginia to present his books:
A HISTORY OF BARBED WIRE &
 EDGE: TRAVELS OF AN APPALACHIAN LEATHER BEAR
Friday July 16th, 12:00 noon-1:00pm
Unitarian Universalist Meeting House
236 Commercial Str, Provincetown, MA 02657
Facebook event page: http://bit.ly/cdxjqq

A reading, book signing, and reception for the new anthology
BEARS IN THE WILD: HOT & HAIRY FICTION
with contributor Jeff Mann and editor R. Jackson
Saturday July 17th, 11:00am – 12:00 noon
Toys of Eros
200 Commercial Str, Provincetown, MA 02657
Facebook event page: http://bit.ly/bdvY6Q

Both events are free, and open to the adult public — non-bears welcome!
Hosted by Northeast Ursamen, Bear Bones Books, Toys of Eros, and BearRadio.net

COL118: When Tim’s Away the Geeks Will Play

While Tim’s away celebrating his one year anniversary Griff and Jeff slide into talk about the speculations surrounding WWDC, AT&T Data Plans, McDonald’s catering to  the gay customer and the future of TV.

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Amazing Weekends.

COL News

  • Note that the first episode of COL Movies was in the COL feed for other episodes, subscribe on iTunes or use the subscription links on the COL Movies Site

Feedback:

  • Drunk cubs give the best advice
  • My laptop reached the end of its life Sunday morning and I was pissed. I needed to get a new laptop but, I didn’t want to loose my irreplaceable data, settings, and stored passwords. Then as I was listened to the podcast Monday evening (thank GOD for iPod touch and Wi-fi),  I remembered Jeff’s drunken raving about something similar to my problem and a magic solution. I went back and listened to #113 and heard the name from my drunken savior, “Windows Easy Transfer”! I love that program! All 211GB of precious data and settings were transferred within 3hrs. Jeff should get drunk on a podcast every now and again to make them as hilariously memorable as #113. The last show was a little lacking but still pretty good. I miss JJ and no one can replace him but, y’all might want to consider having someone fill in the gap? Thanks for the best podcast ever and I’ll be waiting for the next show.
    Besos,
    -Leon

Topics:

WTP:

  • AT&T’s new data plans. – Griff

Picks:

COL117: We Said It’s Indeterminate Length

Jeff and Tim host a short show about COL Facebook Account going away but a Facebook Page is now active, DADT Repeal gets a step forward, and picks.

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Amazing Weekends.

COL News

Picks

COL116: It Starts With Sex

Jeff and Griff bid JJ a fond farewell by discussing JJ’s best and worst memories of COL.  We also talk about the gay dating-scape and how semen totally grosses out JJ.

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Amazing Weekends.

COL News

Feedback:

  • Hey Guys
    Just thought I would drop you a line to say hi, thanks for the great discussion especially the one about the HIV+ partnering.  I was with someone for 4 years who was HIV+ and I swore I would never be with someone who had HIV again, it ripped me apart, and still to this very day 15 years later I still feel a void where he should be.  But I have dated since so I’ve not totally kept in the past except for learning about my own limits.
    So I was wondering if I could propose a topic to you guys, So I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years and recently its come to a mad screaming holt (Since December last year).  I’ve started going out again dating, and I’ve noticed that the dating-scape has changed considerably.  Is it the norm that people have forgotten how to do romantic thing (dinner and a movie, coffee dates etc), most people I meet just want to traverse the quick hook up thing.  I want to meet someone likes romance, is romantic and will reciprocate in kind when I am romantic.  Does this idea make me too gay to function?  Is romance dead in the bear community?
    Your loyal listener here in Adelaide, Australia

    iCub_2010

Topics:

  • JJ’s best and worst times on COL. Group discussion.
  • Too young to marry?

WTP:

  • Chocolate on the remote. – Griff
  • Get an iPad for free schemes (people who fall for it rather) – Griff
  • Drinking while doing COL – Griff
  • “Cute” for doing a podcast – Jeff

Picks:

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  • Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii) – JJ

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