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Podcasts

COL132: The World Has Turned Upside Down

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Cookie’s here LIVE, as in in person!  We chat more about the Target Boycott or lack there of, and more. Oh, and Iced Coffee.  You’ll understand.

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  • Comment from Chidiver

In the early 2000’s I worked for a big affiliate internet marketing company. I don’t recall the specific details, but I somehow wound up being sent to Dallas to participate in a pitch to Blockbuster in Dallas. They had the reputation for being “arrogant, ” but didn’t think too much about it as it was the Internet boom and a$$holes were
everywhere.

I flew down from Chicago and my boss from NYC. We sat in the reception area for about 30 minutes when the receptionist told us that the people we were to meet with were “too busy and to make another appointment.” We had just spent a couple of grand to get there and they didn’t even have the decency to step out of their office to tell us to hit the road? From that day on, I never set foot in Blockbuster store.

The funny thing is that I talked a friend out of investing in Red Box, yet every time I walk past one of their machines at the local supermarket, there is a line of soccer moms and their annoying spawn queueing up to rent the latests crap. Oops!

  • Email from Dick D

I was scanning through the iTunes podcasts and ran into your listings. Enjoyed your latest episode and checked out the last three shows. You have another fan.

  • Email from Don RE: COL 127

Dear COL

I just listened to COL 127 (I know I’m way behind..sorry please don’t shoot me. It’s summertime and I was doing what any good ole Bear does : frolicking in the woods sort to speak BIG SMILE !!!)

In regards to the boycott and discrimination IMHO I have to respectfully disagree with Griff. While it’s true you can’t control human behavior all the time, at the same time one cannot deny that prejudicial behavior nor actions go unnoticed nor affected the people who are targeted.

While people and corporations know it’s not “politically incorrect” to be overtly prejudice, because they are more aware of their actions carry significant consequences (legal ramifications, bad publicity ..etc ), it doesn’t mean prejudice has disappeared. Because of awareness that such behaviors are deemed as wrong, prejudice has more covert (or underground). Sometimes this is demonstrated in certain catch phrases that are exercised in boorish, demeaning language or nuisances disguised under free speech that are blatantly ignorant. To me, the Tea Party are a great example of this, who hide their real racist agenda behind so called “political discourse,” or in the case of Target who proclaim ignorance for supporting a Homophobic Candidate just because they supported gay causes in the past and they should be forgiven due to this one blunder.

No wrong. It’s why I support the boycott. Target shouldn’t be allowed to claim ignorance just because they gave money to gay causes in the past. Don’t you think they do some research before they give money to an individual or group? How do you think their Queer Employees feel when they learn that the company they enjoy working for supports a Homophobe who if elected will take away their rights? Not to mention the anguish in having to defend the company position that goes counter to their own values and beliefs. It’s like how some people look at me and say I’m not prejudice, but (Insert any gender, racial, ethnic, sexual minority group..etc slur) or I can’t be a bigot cause most of my friends are (again insert any group); yet, you know where there true feelings lie because their actions already have betrayed them.

It’s why Target have to be called on it because they were wrong, and they know it. They are just to embrassed cause they got caught that’s all. Besides they should have known better because they supported us in the past. So why go off and support this canidate in the first place?

Keep up the good work guys!! You rock!!

Don

Toronto, Canada

Picks:

  • Australian Accents – Jeff
  • American Accents – Cookie
  • Law and Order SVU marathons on USA – Tim
  • Hippy Hollow and that special fish – Cookie

WTP:

  • No “Bonk Bonk” on Law and Order marathons – Tim
  • Iced Coffee – Cookie

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Podcasts

COL131: You Want To See The Naughty Bits!

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Griff and Jeff welcome JJ back as the hot substitute podcaster to discuss a bevy of listener feedback and how to find your bear. All that and a handful of news from around the gay community.

Hosts: Griff, Jeff and JJ

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Amazing Weekends

COL News

Feedback:

  • Email from Phil – Re: Bear411

Hey Jeff, Timcub and Griff

Just thought I’d tell you a story that really made me consider the discussions you’ve had in the recent and not-so-recent past about Bear411 and cliqueishness in the bear community. Last night, I submitted a profile to Bear411. I followed all the requirements, including providing a face pic. This morning, I received an email from the webmaster notifying me that my submitted profile could not be approved. There was absolutely no explanation provided. The website suggested I post my profile at MenOnline.com, presumably one of Bear411’s sister sites.

I have read extensively about the whole fracas over Bear411 being especially picky and/or arbitrary as to who they consider worthy of being on the site. While I do not know the ultimate reason for the rejection, I can’t help but wonder if it’s something they found personally unattractive about me. If I must label myself, I consider myself to be a chub, standing at 5’9″ and weighing 265. However, I do not grow substantial facial hair patterns and usually go smooth shaven. Call it genetics or God or whatever, I’m just not the hairiest guy. My submitted facepic reflects this, and I wonder if they took one look at it and said “NOT A BEAR” before rejecting my profile.

I’ve been listening to COL long enough to remember the infamous verbal back-and-forth between John John and Griff over the site. Most of the time, I can understand each side of the argument…but right about now, I’m sympathizing with John John, if only because I now know what it is like to feel rejected. (I know, you can get out the violins now… Ha!)

Is all this Bear411 drama proof that some bears are just cliqueish and not very kind about it? I’ve noticed even that when going to JJ’s, my local bear bar in St. Louis, I feel less and less welcome lately because I’m merely husky without the hairy. Are chubs are the new twink in the bear communty? I mean no harm to our twink brothers…but I’ve seen a lot of dismissive language sent their way…and I’m even guilty of it in the past.

I get it. People like what they like, but what the P-FUCK? Does the webmaster of Bear411 not consider that there are chub-admirers out there? Who knows, I might have become a paid member. That’s their monetary loss, I guess.

Your thoughts? Keep up the great work, guys!

Phil

St. Louis, MO

  • Email from Thlayli – Straight Guys at the Bear Bar

First off, the last show was great; very much enjoyed it.

Secondly, sorry the feedback is so late, and so short.

Third: Here’s a verbatim quote from Griff:

“If you are a bartender at a gay establishment, or a barback, or work in any capacity there, I kinda think that you are opening yourself up to be hit on, touched, fondled and what-not, and I think that’s okay; that’s sort of acceptable in gay bars especially.”

Holy SHIT.

Um, no. That is not okay. It’s not acceptable for anyone to be fondled – or “what-not” just because they happen to working at a bar. Any bar. Including gay bars. While it’s true that there’s a certain amount of being hit-on that anyone dealing with the public might have to deal with, there’s a fucking line. No touching unless it’s consented to. Period.

Regarding the topics:

Should gay bars hire straight employees?

Sure, why not? Bar employees are not there to fuck the patrons. Sexuality is irrelevant. If the employee doesn’t realize that he’d applied for a job at a gay bar, he/she should be fired on grounds of stupidity.

Should gay bars host bachelorette parties?

No. As there is no legal way around this, (other than 100% private clubs, and those laws may vary from state to state, I don’t know), your weapon is shame. Bachelorettes should show a little fucking sensitivity in this regard – I think it actually IS a little insensitive to use gay clubs as a safe haven from the straight men. If I’m out at a bar, I’d rather enjoy myself, rather than being looked on as an exhibit in a zoo by all the straight folks. Sadly, this is what seems to happen when bachelorette parties arrive. If someone in the party approaches me, the following three things will happen: 1) I’ll be asked to tell my coming out story, 2) I’ll be asked to “prove” that I’m gay, and 3) I’ll be told that it’s a waste for me to be gay.

Anyone phoning in to arrange a bachelorette party at a gay bar should be treated like dirt. Like someone who thinks blackface is funny.

Yarg. As usual, my feedback wants to be an essay. Going to sign off now.

Hugs to all,

Chris (Thlayli)

  • Email from Dave – Name Change and Scruff

Hi Boys,

I really enjoyed your last podcast. Great job and I have been listening for a couple of years. I live in MA and I am engaged to be married. We talked about the whole name change thing when we first became engaged last spring. We decided to keep our own names at that time and I had no problem with that. We both have long last names so the combined names would be around 16 letters long.

As it turns out my soon to be husband told me one night about a month ago that he wanted to take my last name. His decision to take my last name made me very happy, I not sure why but it did.

I also use Scruff. I also listen to Bear Podcast and they had one of the guys who were responsible for Scruff on there podcast. At the time there was just 2 guys doing all of it and they both had full time jobs too. You can listen to the pod cast at http://bearpodcast.com/show/?p=1303. Jeff give them a break, Scruff is much better than Grindr and I see the type of men I like.

Big Bear Hugs,

Dave

  • Tweet from @KellenBrando

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/KellenBrando/status/23034077972″]

Topics:

  • Finding “your” bear.

WTP:

  • Why is Blockbuster still around? “Blockbuster has lost a total of $1.1 billion since the beginning of 2008…” – Griff
  • Foreskin Man – Griff
  • Sharpie Pencil – Griff
  • The new Digg – JJ

Picks:

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Podcasts

COL130: The ‘F’ Word

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On a very special Labor Day edition the guys talk about Republican support for gay marriage, Modern Family, the naming for YOUR modern family and Scruff for iPhone.

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COL News

Feedback:

  • Legal questions answered:

I just wanted to weigh in on the legal question that you presented in the last show. So here is my take on the employment discrimination issues you raised in your straight guy in gay bar scenario. Under the law if you are a straight individual working at a gay establishment and the patrons at that gay establishment “sexually harass” you. The “sexually harassing” actions by those patrons are not legally attributable to the owner of the gay establishment because there exist so legal relationship between the patrons and the owner. Thus if the straight guy wanted any recourse for the harassment he would have to sue the individuals themselves for the harassment but would not have a case against the owner/boss of the gay establishment because the actions of those individuals were not directed by the owner/boss.

I hope this makes sense. For further research into this issue looking to Torts law under the doctrines of respondeat superior and vicarious liability.

Keep the questions coming that was really fun.

Best,

Darnell

P.S. When are we going to see Jeff topless again I missed it the first go round…..hehehe

  • Comment from Chidiver – “A COL cookbook would be fun! Can the listeners get involved and contribute?
  • Email From Apex Flip

Good Afternoon All,

My name is Apexflip. I’m on the WeightWatchers group COL. I just started to listen to your podcast and I have to say I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!! You all are so funny. I love the way you all work with each other and have your own different onions on everything. It’s also nice to hear a podcast about bears.
Here in NY there isn’t much about bears. Mostly just twinks (which I can do without).
I also just wanted to say,

Jeff your fucking hot
Tim Bear, you are so cute I can just kiss you
Griff, you can fist me without boy butter anytime lol

Hope that all is well for all of you. Keep up the amazing work you three, Cant wait to hear more.

– Apexflip

Topics:

WTP:

  • A Scruff “Meh” “rant” – Jeff

Picks:

  • Stormrage by Richard Knaak – Jeff
  • MBFJ’s recipe for punch – Tim
  • Mad Men on AMC – Griff

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COL129: The Heterophobic City

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A quick round-up of this week’s homo-news and a spattering of feedback lead us into discussing the ban on gay marriage in California, straight guys working in gay bars, the trend of bachorlette parties being held in gay bars and our most hated chores.

Next Week, COL is off for a week.  Wish Jeff a Happy 30th Birthday on the 29th and we’ll see you all in 2 weeks.

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Amazing Weekends

COL News

Feedback:

So where has Jon Jon gone? I miss our gaysian cub. He seemed very sweet and adoreable.
You guys rock. Love your podcast!
-Shawn in NH

Tim needs to come up with a COL cookbook. STAT.
-Russell

The cover story of Chicago’s free daily was titled “STR8 Guy for the Gay Bar.” Yes, I’m ashamed to admit that even a free newspaper in a major city would be running such a lame story on the cover. The long and short of it is many straight men are taking employment in area gay bars. I’m not really much of a gay bar sort, but I’m a little torn on the whole concept. Sure, pretty much every person in the service business is just playing you for the money, but straight men “playing gay” is a little different (or is it?). God knows that there are more than enough gay men in the food service trade to fill these jobs, so why are likely gay bar owners filling these jobs from outside of the tribe?

It got me to thinking about another article I read about bachelorette parties deciding on gay bars and some establishments banning them. Being annoyed by bachlorettes is probably one of the many reasons I turned homo and I would like to avoid them as much as possible. I feel that all should be able to go wherever they want, but we certainly can’t go into straight and get away with acting like the soon-to-be married girls do.
-ChiDiver

Topics:

Picks:

  • Blue Diamond Bold Almonds – Wasabi & Soy

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Podcasts

COL128: Unlawful proposition

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The recent denial of a stay in California’s Prop 8 case gets us talking about the quest for equality, while recent violence in DC gives us a reason to worry. We also get into a quick round-up of mobile bear sites…and…Neil Patrick Harris is having twins!

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Amazing Weekends

COL News

  • Recent anti-gay violence shakes Washington D.C.
  • Stay to keep Prop 8 alive denied! In effect 8/18, 1700 PDT Proponents do not adequately explain the basis for their belief that marriages performed absent a stay would suffer from a “cloud of uncertainty.”
  • Proponents’ intervention in the district court does not provide them with standing to appeal.
  • “The evidence presented at trial does not support proponents’ position on domestic partnerships; instead, the evidence showed that domestic partnership is an inadequate and discriminatory substitute for marriage.”
  • Proponents claim that plaintiffs’ desire to marry is not “urgent,” because they chose not to marry in 2008. Whether plaintiffs choose to exercise their right to marry now is a matter that plaintiffs, and plaintiffs alone, have the right to decide.
  • Proponents also point to the public interest as reflected in the votes of “the people of California” who do not want same-sex couples to marry, explaining that “[t]here is no basis for this Court to second-guess the people of California’s considered judgment of the public interest.” The Governor states that “[a]llowing the Court’s judgment to take effect serves the public interest” in “[u]pholding the rights and liberties guaranteed by the federal Constitution” and in “eradicating unlawful discrimination.”
  • The evidence presented at trial and the position of the representatives of the State of California show that an injunction against enforcement of Proposition 8 is in the public’s interest. Accordingly, the court concludes that the public interest counsels against entry of the stay proponents seek.

Topics:

  • How long will it take for equality and are we willing to wait?
  • Mobile bear sites. Is Scruff really needed?
  • NPH is having twins!

[blackbirdpie id=21169617192]

WTP:

  • Kids are back in school already! – Griff

Picks:

  • Hackers – Jeff

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