COL114: Gay Out of Compton

Some great feedback and a YouTube video spark discussion about being social and perceived hatred of feminine gays. The guys also remind you that it may be time for you to get tested.

Play

Feedback:

  • Hey again guys!I really wanted to take some time here to comment on COL112.  Have to say–this episode is one of my favorites yet.  You guys talked about several things I’ve been thinking about personally the last few years … and found myself listening to this twice.First–I can relate to Jeff about feeling kind of stuck and needing to get out more …  I too am on the shy side and find that, although I don’t exactly carry around a pocket protector or have a particularly nasal voice (lol), people generally find me a bit TOO tech-savvy or “nerdish”.  I found myself siding with Griff over Jeff’s remark of whether or not to move out of Austin in that the same situation is bound to pop up in any city you land in–whether it’s Boston, Seattle, Topeka, or my native Cincinnati–just takes some looking.  Maybe you (Jeff) could join a meetup group–not necessarily gay/bear related?  I’ve found a few that were really cool and it might give you another view of groups you fit in with that you never thought about before.  There’s a place in Tampa that does a weekly drum circle, for example, and they’re a pretty bangin’ group (pun intended).

    Also, after having heard about it the last few episodes–Griff’s relationship with Ian really reminds me of my current relationship.  Coincidentally, he is a Scorpio … and we met when I was in my early 20’s.  *insert spooky music here*  He’s currently in his mid-30’s (and a bear) and I find that in the time we’ve been together (will be five years in September) it’s definitely been an adventure.  Some times easier than others, as to be expected, but it’s worked out great.  It’s all about finding that balance.  To tie this into my last paragraph, I can again relate to Jeff in that it’s easier to do things–at least for me–when you have a partner to share them with.  I too got bored at bars by myself when I was single and would rather have talked online all night to the gamer friends I had (however transparent they were over the Internet) than sit at a bar and get zero attention–or know how to go about it.  I find that I am 200% more social and outgoing than when I was single, and I take more trips and explore new places to boot.  A Catch-22 …  Some of us are just wired differently, I guess.

    The age thing has never posed a problem with my boyfriend and I, save for a few minor instances (which were bound to pop up eventually).  Outside of that, I thoroughly enjoy his friends.  Likewise, he enjoys mine when they come to town to visit.

    I will say, though–to touch on the age issue again–I used to find myself becoming further wedged from my old high school friends with the advent of them all getting married or having kids …  I’m sure I/we don’t yet by sheer default of being gay (and lack of a law allowing us to do much of anything here in Florida)–but was nonetheless daunting.  This episode really made me realize that, at age 25, life really is about how old you feel vs. what your birth certificate says.  I see that it doesn’t matter that they are settling down and setting up house–it does not mean that we cannot still be young and dumb and have a blast.  I applaud Griff for feeling as young as 24 …  There are a LOT of my partner’s friends who are, say 34 going on 60–and I’m glad he doesn’t fit that definition.

    In closing, thanks again for the insight and entertainment.  Sorry that I seem to have written a short novel and that this email is all over the place, lol, but I had a lot to say.  Great show this week, guys.

    Russell, Fort Lauderdale

Topics:

  • Feminine gays.
  • Getting tested/safe sex.

[Jeff]WTP:

  • Ellen’s having to apologize – Griff
  • BP not responding fast enough to the oil spill – Griff

[Jeff]Picks:

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.